Sunday, July 18, 2010

I Never Liked Romeo Too Much After Mercutio Gets Stabbed

As most 14 years-old, I used to have a fight against the world. I did what any socially inept teenager at that time would have done; I wore black oversized t-shirts and had a problem comprehending the correct use of eyeliner. Yes, I was part of the whole Avril Lavigne pseudo-punk wave. Saying that I’m ashamed of it would be unfair, the phase helped me overcome the fact that I didn’t have a lot of friends at the time; pretending to be a Punk gave me the option to say “people suck, I choose to be alone”.
February 2005
Girl meets boy. Boy shows interest in the girl. Girl drops on her knees, being him the first guy to ever notice her.
Let’s call him First-Kiss guy… Aw, did I just spoil it? FK was 18 at the time, he wasn’t particularly good looking but neither was I, back then; he was funny as hell, thought (but there’s a real possibility that I was so head over heels that I just laughed at whatever he said). The important thing for me was: He liked me. ME!
March 2005
I went out with a group of friends, including him… You know what? I’ll let the 15-year-old in me take it from here: So, we got, like, away from the rest. We got into his car, he had a car! I know, right? He, then, started, like, going on and on about Rap music and I was all like “I love rap, too!” I know, so embarrassing but what was I supposed to tell him? That I hated that effing music? I mean, right? Whatever. He, like, pulled off his car and I was like “Is he going to kiss me?” and he did! It was so retarded. I didn’t, like, know what to do, and he was, like, totally feeling me up, like, my boobs and all. I know, right?
After that day, he rarely spoke to me again.

I can’t even began to explain how mad/sad I was . Doesn’t even matter now; after a couple of months and hearing over and over Taking Back Sunday I was pretty much over him. Thanks to him I learned that not all guys that I invite to feel me under my bra are going to be interested in hearing my heartbeats along the way.
I saw FK several times after that and we held short but nice conversations. He left town about two years ago. I wasn’t angry at him; the way I saw it, it was my own fault I got hurt. I created expectations for a guy who never promised me a thing.

Now, for this kind of talk you were better off watching re-runs of 90210, I know. This is relevant to my life now; seriously, I’m getting there.
Around May (of this year) he sent me an instant message. We started talking and suddenly the conversation got heavy *drum rolls* He confessed me he really liked me, and after all these years he still thought about me. He told me the age difference freaked him out at the time, but mostly he was so damaged he just got spooked of how much he liked me. He now regrets it.
… I know, right?
It was a big ‘is-this-real-life?’ moment for me. All of a sudden my beliefs were based on a lie (I could be more dramatic, but I’m tired). Paraphrasing one of my friends: I thought I was dealing with a male whore but he turned out to be a pussy.

Months passed and he was ready to come visit me, he wanted to see me before I left the country. Alex happened (big hurricane that flood a bunch of cities), he’s ok, but he’s trapped there. Let me tell you something: I’m so fucking relieved.
The second part of this story is like a crappy sequel of a horror movie, where the screenwriters decide to add a twist to the story that will just not work. Suddenly it’s not about my expectations, it’s about his. He still remembers me as the self-conscious 14 year-old girl who would have said anything just to make him like me.
We are now this new shitty version of The Great Gatsby; he’s a guy who’s trying way too hard to recapture a moment with a girl who isn’t what he remembers anymore (and probably, never was).

Oh, again, the 15 year-old me wants to add a few words:
Who’s crying now, fucker?

14 comments:

  1. Aww, Lola! I'm sorry you had to go through that! I've been there before though. I made out with a guy at a party my first weekend at University, and it turned out

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  2. Wow, epic failure... Anyway, it turned out her was my mate's roommate. Every time I visited my mate, the roommate/snogging partner was incredibly rude and condescending towards me and I just ignored him and didn't bother with him. Then, 3 years later, he was graduating and he sent me a message saying how he always had feelings for me and didn't know what to do with them... Thank god he waited until graduation so I never had to see him again!

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  3. Thank God for tornados?
    You know what ...i'm a guy ..and i'm telling you both (dannifoley too) that's probably bullshit... i mean, the part where they say they have feelings for you.

    What's most likely is that they're feeling crappy about themselves and their relationships so they think about those girls who seemed "so easy" back in the days. Those girls who they consider inferior somewhat... who they think would be lucky to have them. this of course is a delusional though... but many boys and girls have them. But who know's, maybe i'm just beeing too negative. Either way... you don't really need them in your lives now.

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  4. "Thanks to him I learned that not all guys that I invite to feel me under my bra are going to be interested in hearing my heartbeats along the way."

    A veces lo bordas ¿eh?

    Pienso como Pedro, aunque esta es una de esas cosas que tienen demasiados matices como para ser juzgadas de un vistazo. Tal vez sí, tal vez no. Sí es cierto que los tíos somos medio imbéciles y a veces no sabemos afrontar las cosas según nos vienen pero estas historias huelen a añejo. No se. De cualquier manera la pregunta correcta es esa que medio apunta Pedro:
    Fue una lección -con sus cosas buenas y malas- a los 14 años ¿Le necesitas ahora o será más sensato no tocar su pedestal no vaya a ser que se caiga? :)

    Juanzo.

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  5. Don't worry Lola! This guy is not even worth your time or thought. Fortunately the past is through. What's done is done, and people will have to look back on the things they said and did and deal with them. Hopefully he learned something from the whole experience and I can see that you did. He doesn't deserve to see you or catch up. Glad you didn't waste your time. Take care! :]

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  6. @dannifoley. Nothing to be sorry about, Danni… It’s the kind of thing you’re glad you went through.
    He was rude? Ouch… At least “mine” just ignored me. Or is that worse? I don’t even know. Kinda agree with the other posters, though, both of them were probably lying. Whatever, right?

    @Pedro Calheiros. “Helping you avoid uncomfortable situations since 3.5billionAC”
    And I know. It didn’t make any sense that he was telling me all that after years of having 2 minutes conversations. I do know that he has some, I don’t want’ to say mental issues, sounds awful… But he’s kinda bipolar; even though I think he meant it when he told me that, I know he will change his mind in a couple of days. But seriously, it won’t make a difference in my life.

    @Juanjo. Necesitare saber ese tipo de vocabulario ahora que vaya para allá… *saca su libretita de apuntes* Que significa “lo bordas”? : $
    Sea verdad o no, después de casi 6 años lo tengo perfectamente superado… Malo seria si todavía me afectara, no? No hice mucho al respecto simplemente le dije que era bueno saberlo.

    @Bree. Ugh, I learned a bunch of things that I can even began from that experience. Weird, but I own him a hell of a lot. When he told me he had feelings for me, it freaked me out, but other than I didn’t really care (so, if he really meant it… tough luck, I guess).

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  7. Haha, I bet he always dreams about you and he will end up suicidal. The whole world collapsing on him as you tell him "IT'S OVER". He will be unable to bear the weight of your harsh, bitter words. And it will be your fault, you heartless little b..witch! You could have just said "YES, I LOVE YOU!!!". I mean.. it's been ONLY ~8 (?) years. You and him for eternity...he will sell his car (he must still have the same one, I mean he first "felt" you in it), then he'll buy a nice but little house for you..you don't want nothing fancy, his love will suffice; then have kids, get old and die. Happy happy, joy joy. Now wake up and tell him to get a life.

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  8. No under bra until heartbeat listened to...or until he buys you an ice cream sandwich.

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  9. "Lo bordas" = Lo haces perfecto.

    "Lo has bordado".

    :)


    Juanzo.

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  10. You know, the first part of that story was beautifully written. Specially this part: "Thanks to him I learned that not all guys that I invite to feel me under my bra are going to be interested in hearing my heartbeats along the way."

    And the second part was almost unreal. I mean, don't things like that only happen in girly romantic comedies?

    I'm sorry you've had your heart broken (has happened to the most of us), but you have a great point: "Who’s crying now, fucker?"
    Obviously, it's not you!

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  11. @alexel. Could you imagine? We would have so much to talk about the first few days of marriage; I mean, we have to catch up in these last 6 years we haven’t almost speak to each other.
    @Jason. I see we went to the same convention. I added “a pony” to the list.
    @Juanjo. : D! Eso tiene mucho sentido… Gracias :$
    @Ollie. I swear, when he was telling me all that stuff it was unreal. To this day I don’t completely buy it, as you said, those kinds of things just happen in girl’s wet dreams… No guy is that pathetic.

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  12. well he gave you that life lesson that finally led you to say "who's crying now fucker?"
    can you imagine if he'd become your boyfriend, you'd be like that girl who gives everything to be liked.
    I'm glad he was a pussy.. aren't you glad he was a pussy?
    he sparkled like a little bitch!

    dang, people must think I'm very bad-spoken

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  13. PS: has my heart love till now? forswear it sight, that I never saw true beauty till this night, If I profane with my unworthiest touch this holy shrine the gentle sin is this.. yes that Romeo fan

    Mercutio had it coming

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  14. Quoting Salinger “Romeo and Juliet, at least it was their own fault”.
    And, what people think shouldn’t stop you from doing your ‘thang’.

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