Monday, August 23, 2010

Daddy’ll Kill You

Quiet. That’s the way I’d describe the way the trip started. Me and my big brother (along with some friends of his) decided to visit a small beautiful town two hours away from here (it’s called Comillas, if you were wondering). In complete silence, it was just him and I on our way over there;  early 2000’s songs were the only sound that kept us from hearing crickets.

Once we got there and met the rest of the people… Well, let me just tell you this entry was initially about the glory and sanctity of alcohol. A couple of drinks helped me go through being a social retard to the adorable snowflake you know I am; and that was just while we were chilling (ugh… I’m definitely not the kind of girl who says ‘chilling’) on our hotel.

When we hit the town (I should stop with the clichés) my brother started a tequila-shot competition with a friend (you already know they both regretted it the very next day); I, on the other hand, was dancing as if I was actually good at it. Well, I must have been doing something right, since I caught the attention of a group of guys. After dancing for a while with a dude who was young and not bad looking (pretty much my only standards when I’m drunk) he asked me where I was from, when I answered Mexico he became the definition of facepalm. Before I could wonder if this guy was some kind of jerk, he shoved his tongue down my throat.

We made out, and we made out hard. When I came out for air I noticed my brother wasn’t that far away from me; he looked right back, and with a very drunk smile on his face he offered my make-out partner a shot of tequila.

A couple of minutes later I gave ‘my guy’ a quick “Gotta go, see ya!” and left the place right behind my group. One of the girls (who was drunk, of course) asked my brother if he had a problem with what went down just then which he answered “I guess she knows what she’s doing”; the reason why I’m telling you this is not that, is the hilarious answer he got in response from the same girl:

“¡Cuando yo tenía 20 años follaba y mamaba como tu puta madre!”

(“When I was 20 years old, I fucked and sucked like your whorish/fucking mother”)

The third night there… Yeah, I’m not even mentioning the second one because there' are just very few good stories that start with “Once, I was so hangover…”. It started just like the first night, actually, it was pretty much the same, up until the point where I met another guy at the club. This time the place wasn’t so crowded and loud, we got the chance to talk and not make out. After a while I needed to go the bathroom (one of the many wonderful things you can blame alcohol for), when I finished I reunited with my original group. My brother smiled at me and yell:

“What a champion you are!” lift my arm up to the air while he turn to look at his girlfriend “Hey! Took a picture of me with the champ!”

Quiet. That’s the way I’d describe the way the trip ended. On our way back it was, again, just me and my brother in complete silence… No, not really. This time there was this short conversation that lasted for about a minute.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked.
“I’m getting a zip right here” I point to chin “You see?”
“Deep thoughts you have”
“Well… What were you thinking of?”
“That we’ll have to do some research over the internet about the the history and architecture of this town… So we have something to tell mom and dad about”


  1. Sounds like you had a helluva night!

    I try to avoid alcohol as much as possible these days.. I tend to get flirty with inanimate objects (walls, trash cans, bannisters, etc.) after a few rounds of tequila. =/

    Sadly, I've only been TOLD that I do this, as I do not remember most of it.

  2. Sounds like you have some ex-spaining to do.

    (I’m sorry, I had to, it was just too good)

    Sound like you had a good trip. Just remember alcohol is the solution to and reason for, all of life problems. A life with out living is no life at all. So drink up!

  3. Oh what tequila can do!

    I'm not the biggest drinker myself, but for some reason I am always surrounded by alcohol and/or drunks, so I'm tempted to. It's not my fault, I swear! Hey, everyone needs to let loose once in awhile xD

  4. Well, you can just tell your parents to google it up :)) no more need to do your homework just for the sake of it.
    I'm thinking it would not be that great if they found out about your blog though :O

    And remember: "Sex, drugs & ALCOHOL are all very well, but nothing beats a nice cup of tea."

  5. @Roy. Objects? Really? I get flirty with girls… But I guess that’s in right now. Kudos to you for being original.

    @Jules. Your word play abilities are getting better thanks to failblog… And thank you for the good wishes.

    @Anon. I… I’m sorry ):

    @Bree. On my defense… I didn’t drink Tequila. I’m a vodka kind of girl. And blah, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with drinking if you know how to handle it.

    @alexel. That would be kinda rude “honey, how was your trip (that I pay for)” “fuck off, mom, google it up!”.

    @druyda. My Portuguese sucks ):

  6. Hey, alcohol is always a nice way to end up with either a terrific story, or no story at all.

    Anyway, I don't think shy people are per se insecure, I just think i may have mistaken your nervosity of telling your teacher you'd quit with insecurity. My bad:)

    Last saturday I woke up in the park:D

  7. I loved how proud you were of waking up in a park. I feel sorry for those kinds of stories, not because I’m free of alcohol idiocracy, but because I just imagine the hangover.
    That story made me look insecure? I’d say I was being way to egocentric thinking that his life would end because I was leaving! :o

  8. “That we’ll have to do some research over the internet about the the history and architecture of this town… So we have something to tell mom and dad about”
    Your brother is so full of win it makes Chuck Norris look like Ross (from Friends).
    Queda mejor en inglés esa oración.

  9. He would love to hear that. He's always talking about how awesome Chuck Norris is.