Monday, September 6, 2010

In my Mind, I'm Probably the Biggest Sex Maniac You Ever Saw

I feel like embarrassing myself today (random need I have from time to time), and talking about my undying love for my brother’s roommate is the fastest way to reach my goal.

I’m not going to talk about his dreamy blue eyes, his tanned perfect skin, his wavy brown hair or his amazing abs that he likes to show off walking shirtless around the apartment… I’m sorry, why am I not talking about this? Pff… I knew I should had made and erotic blog. Ok! Who’s in the mood for a very explicit story about me giving this really sexy guy a blow-

Tonight’s show has been interrupted to inform you all I just reached my just mentioned goal (and a couple other things too)!

Well, I’m not going to talk about his girlfriend either (ugh…), or about her annoying (but pretty cool) 60’s dresses… Or her great taste in movies, music (and guys) that make it really hard for me to dislike her.

Nope. I’m going to talk about me, since that’s the thing I do best being incapable of talking to him without sounding like a complete retard.

Example
Him: Hey!
Me: Hi! How you doing?
Him: Great, how about you?
Me: Great! How about you… I just asked you, right?
Him: …Right.
Me: Ok, then.

But, I’m proud to announce that he isn’t the sharpest tool either when he talks to me.

Another Example
Him: (holding a bottle of sunscreen SPF50) Is this yours?
Me: Yep.
Him: You need to put this on…? I’m sorry…
Me: I don’t need your pity, mister.
Him: No, no! I didn’t mean it like that… I was just thinking about the need girls have to get tanned- I really don’t understand it really, it’s ridiculous- not that they can’t look good- I mean… Forget it.

Can you imagine our children? They wouldn’t know what a proper conversation is.

 

In other embarrassing news… I decided to create a Tumblr account. I would be ashamed if I weren’t having so much fun with it.

14 comments:

  1. for some reason I feel like I know you xD

    It must be hard being around him so much, lol.

    oh, and I just followed you on tumblr. I've been addicted to this site for like a month. It really becomes fun.

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  2. hey, i was in the mood for the explicit story!
    where is the complaints mailbox?

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  3. Nice new look for the blog!
    I thought you were gonna get some "want me to rub it on your back" action with the sunscreen, better luck next time lol

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  4. Nice revamping of the blog. Congrats! Feel free to share explicit stories with us fools =)

    did i mention i have blue dreamy eyes too? LOL ..the similarities end there though =(... hehehe
    It's really hard when we like their boyfriends/girlfriends isn't it?? awww ...i feel your pain (not really :P ...but it sounded nice =) )

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  5. You really should tell him about your feelings!

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  6. @Bree. I’m guessing is the total cliché of girl’s crush that makes you feel you already heard that haha… And I’m sorry, were you being sarcastic? Hard for me to be around him? Have I told you how cute he is? Not hard at all… Well, I’d prefer if he hasn’t seen me when I just woke up, with saliva stains still on my cheeks… Other than that, it’s all good.
    <3 Now we are tumble friends.

    @Anon. I’m sorry haha, if it makes you feel any better you’re not missing on anything; some people weren’t born to write sex stories, I’d be full of clichés and steel abs.

    @Nic. Thank you!
    And… No. I’d say that line if I lived on a porno, but in the real world I’d just mumble some incoherent words and then run away.

    @Pedro. Thanks! I also changes my basics, projects and blah… When I change I like to do it completely haha
    You seriously made me laugh with the “I don’t really feel your pain but it sounded nice” line.

    @Anon. Oh… No. No. No. I couldn’t. Forget that I have to live with him and my brother would kill me. He has a girlfriend; she’s a sweetheart, and he’s not a douchbag, if he’s with her is because he wants her and not me.
    But, may I tell you a secret, dear anonymous? I also believe he has the tiniest insignificant crush on me… That’s enough, haha :*

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  7. well this is the kind of joke life plays on you/us. => It's kind of ironic, you must spend all your time near this guy but you can't do anything to him..or you could, but I bet you have some dignity and not gonna act-a-slut.

    I must say I'm surprised that chicks get so tormented. I only thought this happened to guys..

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  8. Do you ever wonder if someone you talk about on your blog were to find it and read what you have written about them?

    Would it make things easier if they were out in the open or only more awkward?

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  9. correction (stupid phrasing): I thought this happens only to guys.

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  10. @alexel. Sometimes I doubt is dignity what keeps me from acting like a slut, I’m just too shy.
    I didn’t notice the grammar mistake, by the way. But yeah, everyone gets self conscious, haven’t you watch any show where they picture a girl with a crush? They can be worse than guys.

    @Jules. You talk as if The Internet was just a place with 3 sites. I highly doubt I’ll ever get so popular someone I know would just stepped on my site… But either way, if you notice… I never mention my name or anybody’s name… Ever (just in case I have any “I<3googling myself” type friends.
    You mean, if I tell this guy I like him? If he were to find out from someone other than me, I wouldn’t mind that much since he’s a really relaxed nice guy, I highly doubt he would make it hard on me. Still, I wouldn’t tell him, not when he has a girlfriend… There’s no use.

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  11. "If he were to find out from someone other than me, I wouldn’t mind that much since he’s a really relaxed nice guy, I highly doubt he would make it hard on me." <---- That's what she said.

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  12. And now, my SERIOUS comment:

    I've got $100 that says if he ever found out you liked him, it would take him all of .00005 seconds to try and get you into bed.

    And if I lose THAT bet, I'll go double or nothing that he's in the closet about his sexual preference and using the "girlfriend" as a distractor.

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  13. I don't know what the f Tumblr is but I clicked your link and i LIKE it. Methinks I may just have to make me one myself.

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  14. @Roy. Honey, honey, honey! You’re not representing guys in a very nice way, aren’t you? Haha I believe there are who wouldn’t cheat on their girlfriends because another girl likes them.

    @Kristoffer. Tumblr is lovely <3 … and addictive.

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