Sunday, October 10, 2010

What’s the Routine on Joining a Monastery?

If you know me at all, you would know that having a roof over my head is a very big deal for me; that’s why the first thing I did once I got to Valladolid was find a dorm. I’ll make a long story short, I had two options. A boys and girls dorm and a catholic only girls option… I know, right? Well, hold your horses.

The unisex dorm had just a few rules and boys <3; other than that, it had lousy common rooms and even lousier bedrooms with a bathroom where, I swear (and I do swear it), you can take a dump while you’re showering. The stuck-up chicks dorm looked like a hotel, if hotels had libraries and chapels; big individual bedrooms with bathrooms where you can fit at least 10 people (not that I’m going to try), but it does have a very unsettling name: Slaves of Jesus Christ’s Sacred Heart.

In hopes that the name has a secret kinky S&M connotation and that I was planning to become a lesbian anyway, I chose the all-dudettes way.

It has just been a week, but I’m in a serious need of testosterone. The only male specimen I’ve seen around here was a technician, and he only made it through the lobby. 

Whatever, maybe the desperation will make me better in bed.


  1. Haha!!!

    Cuando lo estaba leyendo me estaba acordando de una amiga que tuvo la misma feliz idea, aquí en Madrid. Ella se arrepintió en no demasiado tiempo. :D

    Mi amiga es una chica resultona así que liga bastante, pero no tiene donde meterse a, um, "enseñarle su nuevo poster de rap" (how i met... rules) x) Como seas igual (y el vid aquel que colgaste dice que sí, que eres guapa) vas a andar en la misma situación ¡así que asegurate de que tus ligues tienen -al menos- coche! :P

    De todas formas también tiene sus beneficios: sabes que en tu cueva no va a aparecer nadie interesante así que te puedes descuidar un poco cuando andes por allí...

    Te digo lo mismo a tí: ¡Si bajas por Madrid avisa!


  2. Lol, the name sounds like a porn gone terribly wrong... with bondage and sado-masochists..
    Watch out so they don't convert you to a "virgin" :))

  3. @alexel - Haha it totally does!

    Coed dorms are overrated, you can always interact elsewhere on campus and take it back to his room if need be ;) You have the right attitude about just being grateful for a roof over your head, and trust me - you're better off in the bigger, nice, hotel like room!

  4. A quote goes,"Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door." Which basically means if you have something that people want they will find a way to get to you. Don't worry you have what guys want, it's only a matter of time before they find you.

    In the mean time enjoy your luxury accommodations.

    P.S. If you flaunt it they will come.

  5. Boys in the dorm would only distract you from your studies... you made a good choice! ;)

  6. I was just saying the other day that I think I have too much testosterone built up lately. I'll send some over right away.

  7. I would have chosen the same as you, lol. Well... hang in there! I'm sure it will turn out to be a good choice.

  8. @Juanjo. Lo mismo me dijo una amiga, cuando le conté eso… “Puedes bajar vestida en un saco de patatas y no te tienes que preocupar”. Como sea… Con los hombres me llevo un poco mejor, las mujeres tienden a ser mas complicadas y de las monjas ni se diga. Yo mas o menos me arrepentí en el momento en que escogí esta residencia, pero lo que hace una por un baño decente.

    @alexel. I know, right? Everybody here knows us as “the slaves”… They just shorten it, don’t mean it in a kinky way; but still, it sounds all wrong.

    @danni. Are you sure, hon? I don’t really get along with girls… Generally. Most (emphasis on that word, please) are a bit too complicated and take my sarcastic comments way too seriously.

    @Jules. Then I will start wearing my “I’m a terrific fuck, I just need a place to do it” tshirt and everything will fall back into place.

    @horstkevin. Are you serious? Haha You just suck the fun out of college.

    @Kristoffer. Don’t even bother… The nuns banned testosterone a few years back, unless it comes from Jesus or something.

    @Bree. Thanks… I’m kinda regretting it right now; nuns have way too many rules and are very nosy.

  9. +1 for shower dump. o.O

  10. That sucks. Jesus was far too emo for that. If he was full of testosterone, the bible would have had verses like:

    Matthew 27:39 Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads, and Jesus sayeth unto them in a loud voice, "I am going to beat every one of your asses when I come back from the dead! That's better walk away! What name hast thou? I'm gonna find you and stick my sandal right up side your head! Then I'm gonna straight blast some fools! That's right, ever heard of an A-K? I have! And Judas.... It's your ass for reals punk! You done fucked with the wrong messiah bitch ass sucka!"

    ...or something like that.

  11. @Kristoffer. I'm actually afraid that just by reading this, some scary ass nun will kick me out.