Getting Laid 101 (straight* guys edition).
Search for a girl who looks like she doesn’t get out of her dorm too much and is craving for some male attention. Once you’ve spotted that girl, make sure she’s around to hear your new resolution: You’re working on demonstrating that a guy can be happy without sex. It’s very important you say this casually and not directly to her, to a guy friend preferably; say it with confidence (I can’t stress this hard enough), you don’t want people to think it’s just an excuse for not being able to get any.
Don’t make any moves on her just yet; I can promise that you already have her attention, but you want to make it believable.
Wait until she does something a little bit sexy: a dance, a look, a smile, whatever works for you. Ask her (again, casually and with confidence) to stop doing that, let her know that’s she’s making it really hard for you to keep on with your little goal.
If she responds positively, (if she doesn’t you’re screwed and I’m sorry I made you go all the way through this) she’ll, hopefully, bring up your (made-up) objective, tell her something along the lines of “you’d be able to convince any guy to do whatever you want”.
You should be giving her head by now… Or at least she's picturing you doing it.
*It doesn’t hurt if you’re drop dead gorgeous too.
*Warning. Don't use this technique on a girl who has to head home half an hour later, due to strict rules of her residence. Both of you will end up horny and alone.
Lines to Avoid:
“You look like the kind of girl who has a better relationship with her father than with her mother”
“Has anyone ever told you your hair kinda looks like a mop?”
“You’re 20? I thought you were 23”
And whatever you do, no matter how desperate you are, Never Ever go for this one:
“Just make out with me! Look! All your friends are making out with my friends!”
But if, for whatever reason, you blurt it out, and she said no (and I'm hoping, on the name of self-respect she'll say no): Don’t lean to kiss her either way… I mean it.