Thursday, December 9, 2010

Old Enough to Know Better

After the constant phone calls to my mommy, the sudden need to lock myself inside my room and my lovely mood swings, I started wondering how much was I actually growing up. Right after the following thought popped into my head I no longer question that I’m 20 going on 16:

“Is everybody having more sex than me?”

All this started a couple of months ago, while I was having a not-so-deep conversation with an 18 year old girl friend, who isn’t exactly the sharpest tool on the shed, but I wouldn’t say she’s dumb… She’s sweet, really, most of the times. I guess that would be a really long nickname, so let’s call her “my tall friend” (yes, she’s tall… Didn’t I mention that?).

Tall Friend: […silly monologue you really don’t need to know as I can hardly remember it] but I’m pretty sure I don’t have more experience than you do.
Me: With how many guy have you been with?
Tall Friend: When you say ‘been with’ you mean actually fucked?
Me: Yeah… [If you want, make up something extra here, pretend I actually add something of value to the conversation]
Tall Friend: Eight.
Me: So I look like a girl who has fucked more than eight guys? That’s good to know… [and I meant every word]

From that point on it seems like everything I hear is how many fucks people have had in their lifetimes…

Unfortunately, from the first night I tried to catch up with those number I realized I have high standards … Oh, don’t look at me like that. I’m just as surprised as you are.


  1. It only takes one, if they make you truely happy.

    I was 23 when I had sex for the first time. I had a couple opportunities before then, but I never thought of developing any meaningful with those girls, so I chose to not pursue any intimate relationship. Don’t get me wrong I really wanted too. My sex drive has always been strong and constant, but I never saw physical attraction and contact nearly as high on my priority list as an emotional link. So I waited, became friends with girls, got to know them and then final found exactly what I have been looking for. I have known my wife for over 7 year now and have never regretted the choice. Nothing quite compares to the feeling of rolling over in the morning looking at my wife and knowing that today is going to be a good day.

  2. Antes, con 18 años, pensaba que lo mejor era haber estado con cuanta más gente mejor. Y solía dar crédito a aquel amigo que decía haberse tirado a todo lo que se movía mientras lo miraba entre sorprendido e intimidado.

    Ahora, con 26, con algo más de experiencia uno sabe que la gente no suele tener tantas relaciones como inicialmente se presupone, y que incluso aquel que tiene más éxito por un motivo o por otro no suele pasar tanto tiempo entre sábanas.

    De hecho, y como anécdota, recuerdo una noche (con 22 años, creo) con una amiga a la que siempre le había atribuido diez mil ligues. Físicamente es muy agraciada y no es precisamente tonta, así que le presuponía facilidad para ligar, que de hecho la tiene.
    Prometo que estaba intimidado ante ella -muchísimo- puesto que yo siempre he sido bastante lento para estas cosas. Pues me dejó a cuadros cuando me confesó que era virgen. Me quedé tan pillado que no supe reaccionar. Donde yo veía ligues a patadas ella veía chicos que no le convencían nada. ¡Sorpresa!

    Cosas veredes, amigo Sancho...

    Por otra parte, ofc, el que sí está dale que te pego todo el día suele ser aquel cuyo listón está por los suelos... :D


  3. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying herself a pleasure.

    -Ambrose Bierce

  4. whats your number?
    you cant be that far from 8, right?

  5. @Jules. Guess what? I was doing some remodeling with on my blog and I found this little Spam Folder… Both of your disappeared posts went over there… I put them back where they belonged. Mystery over.
    I don’t think so strongly about sex. Being ‘in love’ is not on my list, but I at least have to like the guy; or see something special in them… I don’t understand people who just have sex with a random person because they’re horny. That’s what vibrators and our beautiful hands are for.

    @Juanjo. ¡Al menos ya sé cuántos años tienes! Tienes la edad de mi hermano, por si te lo preguntabas… Yo me he dado cuenta que las personas que menos piensas son las que mas sexo tienes; tengo amigas como la tuya, que son guapísimas y saben que pueden darse el lujo de tener estándares… Mientras que hay otras que no son muy agraciadas (pensaras que soy pésima persona), y se han follado hasta lo que no se mueve. Supongo que si lo buscas, encuentras.

    @ Kristoffer. I don’t abstain from sex. I have sex with myself every single day (I’m an awesome lover, by the way)… I just abstain from having sex with not-good-enough-guys.
    Haven’t you heard “pussy is the most expensive meal you’ll ever have”? Well, I’m keeping mine that way, I’m no McDonalds.

    @Anon. Oh, hon, you shouldn’t ask that to a lady!
    I’m totally kidding, of course. Just like my friend, I have to ask… What do you mean with number? Penis and vagina interaction? If that’s what you mean… My magic number is 1, very, very, far from eight.

  6. Wait wait wait *shakes head, raises hands*, you just said your magic number (ROFLOL @ that Friend's episode) is 1?
    You have some reaaaaally high standars, or the world has gone fucking mad.
    Well, disregard that comment, it comes from someone who diving any number by his magic number gets infinite (stupid University, has fuck$d up my once brilliant humour).