Thursday, December 16, 2010

Sensitive as a Goddam Toilet Seat

Remember my brother’s roommate? You know, The Roommate… The one I had such a pathetic crush on? Well, this entry is not about him.

(However, if you were wondering how that was going… We are passed that awkward stage and we now get along great. Every time I visit their apartment we stay late watching movies and talking. My brother even gave him permission to fart in front of me; permission he haven’t use yet, but he seemed rather excited about it. As if I didn’t have enough handling my brother’s delicate stomach… This entry is not about that, either)

Before I start with my real topic, I’m going to set this straight: I always try to write in a “general matter”, without mentioning anybody in particular; it seems like the nice thing to do, and you know me, I’m polite and shit. Since this is something of a “sensible topic” I have to make it personal, if not, it’d just seem like I think a lot of girls suffer from this complex.

I have two female friends that are very different from each other; different age, nationality, appearance and general attitude. They do, however, have something in common (aside from having boobs and a vagina… huh… See? This is why people can’t take me seriously); when I told them about The Roommate and how gorgeous and nice he was, I finalized adding with a defeated sigh “but he has a girlfriend”. Both of them answered me with a “So what…?”.

This is the moment where I warn you that I’m about to make a big deal about nothing, but I’m guessing you’re a recurring blog reader and you’re pretty much aware that’s what personal blogs are all about.

Well, I think those few words speak very low of both of them. The more I thought about it, the more I realized they’re weren’t that different from each other. First, I’m going to answer their stupid question with a simple ‘ There’s another woman involved, you selfish bitch’. Apparently all that ‘Girl Power” we like to brag so much about disappears when there’s guy in the picture.

In their sweet little minds, once the panties are off, dudes forget about everything else, including that things they call girlfriends. If you really think about it, it’s sad. That set of beliefs is still there because more than one guy has reinforce it. Of course I’ve met jerks, the world is full of them, but I’ve also met incredible guys. That includes my two big brothers (who are, both, currently very much in love) and my exboyfriend, that I always knew (except when I was PMSing) he loved me and respected me. Call me naïve, but I’m pretty sure that, even if he’s given the chance to cheat, not every guy will take it. That’s why ‘having a girlfriend’ is pretty much a deal breaker for me.

Maybe it’s because these two friends know I enjoy having conversations involving dicks and tits or they just have the need to brag about it; for whatever reason there is, I’m pretty much aware of all of their sexual encounters and, may I add, I’m also aware of all the disappointment and the why-hasn’t-he-call-me? those encounters lead to. They don’t understand why they can’t find a steady boyfriend. It’s funny, right? They’re looking for the kind of relationship they don’t believe in.

11 comments:

  1. isn't this a girl thing? i'm talking about the ones that always want to prove that they can have every guy they like, no matter what. thus, your BFF will fuck your lover and so on.
    when it comes down to what one wants, people become selfish in a fucking heartbeat.

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  2. ps: i love your santa hat. santa, me wants gifts.
    ps2: you say "to hell with holiday romantics" but i bet you are aching for one :P

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  3. First off let me say the snow effect is pretty cool. I have designed several simple web sites, but I would have no idea how to go about doing that to the page.

    Now back to the topic, you are very right you don't want to get involved with a guy who already has a girl friend. There are two reasons I can think of avoiding it, the first is that you are already complicating the relationship. If your relationship starts off already complicated, where do you think thing are going to go? You don’t want to add more pressures to a relationship if you really want it to work.

    The second point and biggest is, if the guy is willing to cheat on his girl friend then what is to stop him from cheating on you? Most likely if a guy has cheated before he will do it again. This violates one of the main foundations of a truly meaningful relationship. Without trust one becomes suspicious and jealous, which are often two big killers of relationships.

    You mentality is right, if you truly want a meaningful relationship the guy must be free of any other commitments to other women, in order to give you his full attention. It’s funny when girls say “I can’t find a good guy,” because they have seen plenty. It’s just that most women pass up good guys without a second glance. For those women that care, the good guys are not the ones that come up to you at the bar and hit on you and buy you drinks. The good guys are the ones who are setting back with friends enjoying a drink and are too nervous to go up to you because you are too hot. If you go out and approach one of those guys you will be the center of their world.

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  4. Interesting post, I've been thinking about this very thing lately! You know, I'll be honest, I've lusted over people who are in a relationship. But I don't think if I ever got the chance, I would cheat or help another person cheat, y'know? (fantasizing is different... lol) I think the sole reason I believe I wouldn't is because my parents got divorced because my dad cheated on my mom, and that fucked my life for a good few years. I've seen how damaging it can be to a family, and I would NEVER want to do that to someone. Hey, I don't believe in only blaming women (ex: Angelina Jolie is a homewrecker. Well... what about Brad?) BUT I also don't want to aid someone in cheating. And also, lust is lust. It's not love... I mean someone can be so damn attractive, but they could have a shitty personality. And it's dumb that you would break up a relationship because of lust.

    I also think there is that potential you could truly be in love with someone, but they're in a relationship. In that case... STILL DON'T CHEAT. It's just not fucking worth it, too much bullshit and drama. Honestly, I believe there's always more "fish in the sea", as dumb and cliche as that sounds. You can always find someone smarter, better looking, (shallow, I know) etc. It's not like OMG IM IN LOVE and suddenly that's an excuse for cheating.

    Eh, I don't know. I don't think I'm a great role model or that I have great morals, but there's some things I just won't do, and this is one of them.

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  5. "For those women that care, the good guys are not the ones that come up to you at the bar and hit on you and buy you drinks. The good guys are the ones who are setting back with friends enjoying a drink and are too nervous to go up to you because you are too hot. If you go out and approach one of those guys you will be the center of their world."

    So true. The best relationship I ever had was with someone shy, not attractive at all, awkward, etc. I felt like I was the "center" of the world, and I'm not saying that in a spoiled brat princessy way, lol. But I felt like they put me first, and I also put them first. Unfortunately it didn't work out because we both moved away, but I always found it so funny when people would be like, "Why are you with ___? You can do better!" Why not? And no, I couldn't have done better, it was pretty much a perfect relationship.

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  6. Así que tu hermano tiene 26. Y también tiene el estómago delicado. Al final nos vamos a parecer un montón.

    "In their sweet little minds, once the panties are off, dudes forget about everything else, including that things they call girlfriends."

    Parcialmente falso...
    Como bien dices esos pensamientos existen por algo pero en la vida te puedes encontrar de todo y si bien es cierto que un tipo que conoces en un bar a las 2:00AM con una tajada de aupa tiene muchos boletos para ser así resulta que también estamos los de género tonto (queda precioso decir eso de "and are too nervous to go up to you because you are too hot" o "someone shy" pero tras muchas noches yo he acabado autocatalogándome como "género imbécil..."), generalmente escondidos en un rincón cercano a una pared, que no pondríamos los cuernos por nada del mundo (entre otras cosas porque aunque quisieramos hacerlo solemos ser malísimos a la hora de acercarnos a una chica, nos ponemos rojos y todas esas cosas :DD ). Y la realidad dice que somos un huevo los que cumplimos este patrón, aunque ya se sabe que siempre son los más ruidosos los que se hacen notar.

    Nunca he acabado de entender ese tema, por cierto. Lo de los cuernos, digo. Se supone que si estás con alguien es porque quieres a esa persona y no necesitas nada más. Si buscas fuera algo que no tienes dentro es que hay algo que no va bien...

    Z.

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  7. "Pretty much" deal breaker?

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  8. @alexel. It’s interesting, though. These two friends, think they can fuck whoever comes their way… However, they don’t think they’re worth the love of a cute/hot guy.
    And thank you! A Holiday Romantic? You mean a Christmas fling? Blah, not right now.

    @Jules. Thank you, it’s not that big of a deal, really. I just searched for an html code and paste it. I wish it was more difficult than that.
    That’s exactly my point. Whenever these two friends advice me to try to get The Roommate to cheat, I always tell them that, if he falls for that, I’d stop liking him. The reason I like him so much is because he’s not only cute, he’s a genuine nice guy… If he acted like a cheating bastard it’d kill the fantasy.
    Even though I’m hearing you about the good guys, I know I’m incapable of making the first move. I’ve always had the feeling that, if they’re not talking to me, it’s because they don’t want to. Stupid, maybe, but that’s me.

    @Bree. I’m sorry about what you went through… Even though I haven’t witnessed something like that I do feel sorry for the people that think cheating is not a big deal. And I’m with you on the whole Brad Pitt issue, it’s what I always say, the one who’s in the relationship is the one who’s responsible of saying no.
    This is a very complicated issue. What I’m criticizing specifically are the people who, without giving it a second though, say they would date someone in a relationship. Other than that, there are people who get caught on it, there are feeling involved and it’s a situation so complicated to be judged in such a general matter.
    There are unattractive and awkward guys who are jerks too; that’s why we shouldn’t judge anyone absolutely anyone based on appearance. Cute or ugly.

    @Juanjo. Debo admitir que me llego lo que dijiste. Tienes toda la razón… Seran mas los timidos que les cuesta establecer conversaciones, pero por los pocos que hay que no les cuesta para nada ya se sacan conclusiones.
    Es mi misma filosofía. Sobre todo ahora, a esta edad que podemos tener pareja y luego decidir dejar de tenerla sin mas… ¿Por qué estar con alguien si te piensas tirar a otra/o? Al menos eso es lo que pienso de la gente que esta en una relación, ya si ellos mantienen esa misma filosofía, no lo se, pero les doy el beneficio de la duda.


    @Anon. What do you mean? Are you saying if there’s a possibility I wouldn’t take it as a deal breaker? Well it’s a very complicated issue, isn’t? When you get involved in that kind of issue sometimes some of your morals disappear. On my entry I meant, specifically, the people who meet an attractive person and get involved without giving a damn. There’re situations more complicated than that… I’m not saying “if they have their reasons, then it’s ok”, it’s just not black and white anymore.

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  9. I pretty much agree with everything Jules said! Kudos to him. Also it was nice to see Bree answer that post. Kudos to you too!

    I also would like to congratulate Lola... that's the way it should be. If someone has a gf/bf we should respect that and not create grief between them. Then, there's also the reasons Jules points out.

    Merry Christmas to all =)

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  10. haha: "I'm polite and shit."

    Monogamy is more attractive than anything. There's just something about giving yourself completely to one person for however long you are together. If someone falls for someone else then fine, just break up first! Cheating is for noobs.

    That being said, your situation shows that male/female roles in society have changed. Your friends tell you "so what?" because women are the hunters now. It's socially acceptable for you women to go and take whatever you want. Guys now are the prey. We are supposed to shut up and just look pretty!

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  11. @Pedro. I see Jules and Bree already have fans. I’m proud of them!
    Merry Christmas, hon :*

    @Calvin. Nice huh? I laughed at my own joke, while I was writing it… I’m that cool.
    I get what you’re saying about society changing, but it hasn’t change so much. Women know they have the option to pursue guys but mostly guys are still the ones who do it.

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