Time to introduce a new character to this monotonous life of mine. Say hi to Obnoxious Little Smart-Ass; since it’s such a long name I’ll stick to calling her Ass Girl (hopefully she will get the wrong kind of reputation.)
From the moment I met Ass Girl I knew we wouldn’t be trading BFF bracelets any time soon. While everybody around me was going gaga about tequila, Mexican guys and Mexican accent she interrupted my 5 minutes of fame to make a very important announcement: “I never cared for accents… They just sound wrong to me, as if they can’t articulate words correctly”. She still parades such close-minded behavior by correcting me, constantly, on my spanish; while it is easy to ignore, I do regret not having a penis just to have something to shove down her throat and make her stop talking.
Believe it or not, that’s not her worst trait…
Ass Girl is the kind of person who doesn’t understand how come she’s not running her own little country by now; after all, from the moment she popped out of her mother’s vagina she knew everything there’s to know about everything.
She would hate this but she’s not even special… The world is full of conceited people. The awful thing about these creatures is that most of them have something to be conceited about. They are either talented, well-read or (in Ass Girl case) both. People often call them smart.
Since I’m being forced to coexist with this dudette, I learned intelligent people are not the ones who can recite an old painting’s author and date, or resolve complex physic problems in a small amounts of time… They are the ones who, on top of every amazing thing they may be able to do, know when the hell to shut up.
I’ll be the first one to blame my unfriendly thoughts on jealousy. Still, there are fascinating people who I not so secretly envy that don’t make me want to slap them... Hard.