Back in college after a long and not-so-well-deserved break.
I’m not even going to pretend I was ready to come back… I guess I needed to, though. Apparently, school gave me the ability to speak my mind, which now I have forgotten.
If you don’t believe me, let me show it to you in an easy guide I’ve decided to name: Crap I should’ve said.
Exhibit A. Saying goodbye to The Teenager the night before coming back.
Teenager: So… Well… Have a good trip and… Good luck.
Crap I should’ve said: Just so you know, you’ve really grown on me (not in a dirty way, for Christ sake)… And since I care about you I have the need to apologize for every time I’ve made you feel uncomfortable; I guess it’s hard for me to remember your age sometimes, since you have brains and balls a lot of older guys don’t.
What I did say: Aw, thanks! See you!
Exhibit B. Confessing to The Roommate how much I didn’t want to come back right after he found me crying on the living room (talk about making guys feel uncomfortable, right?)
Roommate: I honestly think you should stop being such a pussy, little grasshopper. I’m sorry I have to say it like that but you can’t be so weak. It’s not so bad.
Crap I should’ve said: I’m sorry… “So weak”? Why? I’m not giving up in any way, I’m not going back to Mexico or dropping out just to move in with you and my brother. I’m going back and do my best over there. I was just whining a little bit before you and your dick interrupted me.
What I did say: Yeah… I guess so.
Exhibit C. On my way to the faculty along with a few classmates, including a couple of girls who know about The Teenager.
One of Them: How is your 16 year old doing?
Me: Could you not call him like that in public? Please… Use his name, I don’t care.
OoT: No. I like the fact that he's 16, it’s adorable.
Crap I should’ve said: What I think is adorable is the fact that you’re a cock-teaser who got stood up for a bald girl and made up with a loser just to get revenge but you don’t see me saying it out loud, do you, virgin?
What I did say: Whatever, dude.
Exhibit D. The second worst feeling after the one you get for failing a final is telling people you failed a final.
Classmate: How did you do in math?
Me: I failed… I was expecting it, though… You?
Classmate: I passed, I know right? It was such a surprise, really. I guess it’s because I answered every single question… I don’t know. I passed every single course, I can’t believe it.
Crap I should’ve said: I hope you get fucked in the ass without lube.
What I did say: Wow… Congratulations… I’m so happy for you.