Sunday, March 20, 2011

Watch Them Losing Their Brains

The awkward moment when you find yourself dancing to Mambo No. 5 alone in your room.

Wait… What?

Let’s rewind to last week when, against all odds, I went out on a second date with TooStupidToAskForAFuckingName Guy (who soon will be renamed since it is quite an aggressive/long nickname to carry).

Stage 1. Cool and Nonchalant (true version)

“OMG! We had such a great time. Everything was awesome awesome awesome (three awesomes, that’s serious shit)! He will call eventually, I know it… Meanwhile I’ll just pretend I have a life”

Stage 2. Cool and Nonchalant (fake version)

“It’s been only a few days… He’s such a busy little fella, whatever; no need to even think ab- DUDE! IS THAT A TEXT? No? Ok… Yeah, whatever”

Stage 3. Shame and Doubt

“He thinks I’m retarded. I’m sure. He was talking about computers and I just stood there looking retarded…”

Stage 4. Rage

“Well… What was I supposed to do, then? Solve a quadratic equation in front of him? FUCK THAT!”

Stage 5. Desperation

Muffin: Do you want me to tell my boyfriend to invite your guy into a double date?
Me: Hell no. That would be pathetic… If he wanted to see me he would have called.
Muffin: You realize we are talking about a busy nerd who happens to be shy, right?
The awkward moment when Muffin talks to you as if you were the nut case.
Me: … Fine. Just don’t make me sound desperate, ok? No, you know what? Don’t mention me at all… Don’t tell him you’re doing this for me, tell him-
Muffin: Yo! Calm your tits!
(no, she didn’t say that but it would have been funny as hell if she had) I know exactly how to play it.
Text: Tell your friend to call my friend already!
Me: Bitch, are you retarded?

Stage 6. Acceptance

“He’s just another guy, there’s a world full of them. Whatever, really… So what if I die alone? Would it really be that bad? I have a lot of other things to worry about, I don’t need a- FUCK…! Is that a text? IT IS a fucking text!”

Somewhere in between the "I had a very busy week”, “lots of homework”, “my parents came to visit” and "do you want to go out tomorrow?” the 90’s music fever kicked in.

The awkward moment when you think you’re different from the rest of the girls when it comes to guys but realize you were very wrong.


  1. I take it he's no longer dead??

  2. Yep, taking some time to call does create results, no doubt about it.

    Though a week was a little too much. Though he had reason for it.

    Glad to see you were cool with the guy... sometimes in these situations girls tend to go "Who the hell does he think he is to not call me! He is stupid anyway! I don't need him! Hah I will just go out and find someone else."

    And then when they find out the guy had a perfectly good reason to not have called, it's too late to get back together.

    Well done girl.

  3. Isn't that the truth. Just when you think your over something. The situation changes and you realize have far you were from being over something.

    We can tell our minds one thing, but it's hard to control the chemical messengers that rule our emotions.

    P.S. Give the guy some credit, you know how hard it is to talk to someone you like in case you says something to mess things up. No where is that more true that in the begining of a relationship. Just give him some slack. Just not enough for him to hang himself. ;)

  4. @Danni. He’s a zombie… It makes him more interesting.

    @Ramon. To be fair, the main reason I didn’t lose my cool completely was that my friend (whose boyfriend is “my guy’s” best friend) constantly reassured me how crazy is this guy about me.
    I knew there was a reason for him not calling me… Still, another side of me was going nuts.

    @Jules. Sometimes I forget my position over a certain subjects for that same reason: “was I supposed to care or not?” And I know… Especially this guy who is quite shy; I find myself being the outgoing one, which makes me think I’m not the social retard I thought I was.

  5. Without details, just knowing the cuddle-before-chat episode, it's hard to judge whether either of you is really as shy, retarded and nerdy as claimed.

    I question the man who's interested, already had some "cuddling", but still gives no news for a week. As a teenager, I did worse, but I had learnt that painful lesson by my 20s.

    Bob, specialist es-blunt-questions, asks:
    Dear Lola, did you go through all this because of how you would feel about yourself if he didn't call back, or because of no longer being quite as detached as the "no-name-no-future" post had claimed?

  6. There was a chat before the cuddling, dear… A 5 hour chat, where my name wasn’t mentioned. May I defend my sluttiness here? I know it will sound completely ridiculous and from a B rated movie but there was some weird connection between us. I have never ever done something like that with someone I just met, neither has he (from what I’ve heard from friends). We were a bit drunk and horny that night, we got along great and somehow it just happened.
    Back to our geeky selves, on our first real date, it took us an hour to have a decent conversation; very awkward, I swear. Once we got through that, chat, joked, laughed, we leaned for a kiss and completely miss the target… Then we laughed again.
    Detached? Detached, you say? Heh. I stopped being detached on our second date, the moment he started talking so passionately about the advantages of Linux (nerdiness is cute for me, ok?) and on our walk back home he reached for my hand and not my ass…
    And our third date went even better… But yeah, whatever, is not like I care or anything (I just write long responses about stuff I’m completely apathetic about…)

  7. Sounds good to me. Weird connection, skipping over small talk, breaking usual boundaries (was that Magic cuddling or Clintonian?), enough enfatuation to actually enjoying being told about OSes. Hope it keeps going that way (Note that nerds are keepers, whatever my previous GFs said).
    Now waiting for the cutesy posts until it hits you.

    Sorry for making you defend your actions, I don't believe in the political correctness: If you can't argue for yourself when confronted, the situation is not right. Since you abviously can, that proves that you're comfortable with things. I'll keep doing that unless it bugs you.

    Now tell me, pretty girl who likes awkward nerds and being licked, would you have a sister who'd be single?

  8. Sorry… Two big brothers, both of them taken…
    I agree with you on the “arguing for oneself”… I didn’t mind at all; since, as you say, I don’t regret anything that happened.
    Wait… Until what hits me?

  9. Just for a bit of negativity, the fact you are the "social one" in this relationship does not necessarily means you are not a social retard. Even if you are the social one now, if you break up someday you will be back to normal.

    Now for a bit of positivity, the fact that you can have fluent talks in spite of the social problems, is a very good sign.

    I guess we don't have to tell you that though... you seem pretty happy about how things are going with this guy, you just have to avoid going paranoid again.

  10. That’s a challenge; if there’s something I’m good at is getting paranoid.
    The truth is that, when things are going good for me I get to think there must be something wrong with it… And I self destroy... But, who isn’t like that nowadays?

  11. Hmm... I guess the answer for that is simply relax, we can't stop ourselves from thinking crap, so the best thing sometimes is to simply not think.

    Easier said than done though... specially in relationships