The awkward moment when you find yourself dancing to Mambo No. 5 alone in your room.
Let’s rewind to last week when, against all odds, I went out on a second date with TooStupidToAskForAFuckingName Guy (who soon will be renamed since it is quite an aggressive/long nickname to carry).
Stage 1. Cool and Nonchalant (true version)
“OMG! We had such a great time. Everything was awesome awesome awesome (three awesomes, that’s serious shit)! He will call eventually, I know it… Meanwhile I’ll just pretend I have a life”
Stage 2. Cool and Nonchalant (fake version)
“It’s been only a few days… He’s such a busy little fella, whatever; no need to even think ab- DUDE! IS THAT A TEXT? No? Ok… Yeah, whatever”
Stage 3. Shame and Doubt
“He thinks I’m retarded. I’m sure. He was talking about computers and I just stood there looking retarded…”
Stage 4. Rage
“Well… What was I supposed to do, then? Solve a quadratic equation in front of him? FUCK THAT!”
Stage 5. Desperation
Muffin: Do you want me to tell my boyfriend to invite your guy into a double date?
Me: Hell no. That would be pathetic… If he wanted to see me he would have called.
Muffin: You realize we are talking about a busy nerd who happens to be shy, right?
The awkward moment when Muffin talks to you as if you were the nut case.
Me: … Fine. Just don’t make me sound desperate, ok? No, you know what? Don’t mention me at all… Don’t tell him you’re doing this for me, tell him-
Muffin: Yo! Calm your tits! (no, she didn’t say that but it would have been funny as hell if she had) I know exactly how to play it.
Text: Tell your friend to call my friend already!
Me: Bitch, are you retarded?
Stage 6. Acceptance
“He’s just another guy, there’s a world full of them. Whatever, really… So what if I die alone? Would it really be that bad? I have a lot of other things to worry about, I don’t need a- FUCK…! Is that a text? IT IS a fucking text!”
Somewhere in between the "I had a very busy week”, “lots of homework”, “my parents came to visit” and "do you want to go out tomorrow?” the 90’s music fever kicked in.
The awkward moment when you think you’re different from the rest of the girls when it comes to guys but realize you were very wrong.