Sunday, April 17, 2011

Jesus Never Sent Old Judas to Hell

From the old 90210 to the new one, I’ve lived in Teenageland longer than I should have. I’ve seen fictional characters go from high school to college, action those self-proclaimed critics state as “jumping the shark”. I never fully understood why so many people hate that TV-transition, until a few days ago. It’s not realistic… And yes, I’m talking about realism on TV shows where everyone just accepts 29-year-olds as high school students and black kids as an extinct specie.

Coming from a phase when a “sorry, hon, I can’t drive you to the mall today” felt like a justified cause of depression; young impressionable idiots, like me, end up feeling scammed when we realize  how few fucks one actually gives once we reach college…  I guess it’s hard to create a mildly successful TV Drama in which we can’t care about the characters, given that they don’t even care about themselves.

Time for a context and an explanation: Muffin and I thought it would be fun for us to stay an extra day before heading home for spring vacation on a cheap hostel; we also decided to invite some testosterone to stay with us, agreeing they make the world a sexier place. After a relatively open invitation, that testosterone end up being Muffin’s boyfriend (a.k.a The Muffin Man; credit: Danni), Dude and Dude’s “loving-hands” friend I mentioned on my last entry, which, for fun, we’ll call Judas. I swear I wasn’t aware of this arrangement until last minute, I don’t seek drama that hard… Although, I’m guilty of not giving a damn when I see it about to crash against me.

In an unexpected but greatly appreciated twist of events, Dude decided to be pleasant; there was no chemistry left between us, whatsoever (which makes me wonder if there ever was).

Indifference reign over the evening even before we took the hookah out and do that transferring smoke from mouth to mouth thingy; activity awfully enjoyed by Judas and me. Later, that evening, a fuck was almost given when my own friend assured me Judas’ girlfriend wasn’t really a girlfriend and more like a casual fling, you can’t really blame me for thinking this was just too suspiciously convenient for it to be true.

However, the “I-Don’t-Care.I’m-A-Golden-God” Award was given to Dude after I was informed of a conversation that took place during my absence (ihaveatinybladder.org).

Muffin Man
Do you like her?

Judas
Yeah… I…
[looks at Dude awkwardly]

Dude
Hey, don’t let me stop you. Next time, give me the heads up and I’ll stay at our dorm.

0700: Dude was already at his dorm, keeping his word; Muffin and her Man were at the middle of a two hour sex session inside a bathroom stall; Judas and I were at our only bed, sleeping and, for the first time in the history of my blog, I don’t mean anything else than that.

Our eyes completely closed, our legs locked between each others’ and his hands holding mine; minutes before my brain completely shut off, it revolved around an almost dating rule: “A guy wouldn’t leave his girlfriend or whatever it is, for a girl who his friend banged the night they met her”. I lost my thought when he showed me he wasn’t asleep, either, by holding my hands tighter and bringing them closer to his chest. Being the cynic I am, I knew it didn’t mean a thing; being the idiot I am, I smiled.

24 comments:

  1. Just remember if he is willing to cheat on his "girlfriend" what is to stop him from doing the same to you? Not that he was actually cheating with you, but it seems to be heading down that direction.

    My opinion is that you stay clear of relationship status with Judas until he removes the other girl from the picture. This will give him two messages. First, you want all of his attention and second, you will not accept someone who cheats. Both will go a long away in establishing trust that every good relationship must have.

    I am sure you already know all this, but sometimes what we want interferes with who we are.

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  2. Unless you are hungry for a revenge fuck or rebounding badly, I definitely recommend the old "stay away from ex's friends" rule.
    It just reeks of Major Drama and future Badmouthing (oddly that word is in my browser's dictionary).

    The vibrator might not feel as good, but throwing away batteries is usually inconsequential.

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  3. I agree with bob...but if dude's cool with it get your freak on

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  4. "but throwing away batteries is usually inconsequential"
    are you serious? go fuck yourself!

    if dude is (pretending to) not give/ing a fuck, he deserves that you just get it on without giving a fuck about him either. It's your life. Stop caring about his, he'll get over it.

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  5. I demand a threesome blog entry.

    @Anonymous - He can't. He threw the batteries away.

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  6. @Nah, I know, he fucked nature instead

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  7. @Ano - Well... In that case, I demand a treesome blog entry.

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  8. @Jules. I know. I know. Under the influence I have no idea how I’d act, at least sober I don’t help guys cheat. Over the course of these days, after a lot of thought I have decided to do absolutely nothing. Things will unfold however but I won’t do a thing to make them happen. He’s a fun guy to be with but I don’t know him enough to fight for him against another woman… Call it girl power or pure laziness.

    @Bob. Being completely honest, Dude was the least of my problems… If they figured the arrangement out on their own, it’s enough by me.

    @”Get-It-On-Since-Dude-Is-Ok”Defenders. Dude wasn’t an obstacle… We dated sporadically for a month until he realized I’m not his type. He’s not heartbroken. His girlfriend is the obstacle, my feminism keeps me from doing anything in the name of a guy.

    @Anon. A threesome? Judas, his girlfriend and I? Judas, Dude and I? Muffin, Muffin Man, and I? Or I don’t even have to be included?

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  9. Hey! That was me who demanded a threesome. Now I'm deeply, deeply offendend.

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  10. Oh dear... I'm sorry.
    I guess now I do own you the threesome, right? Find the third person and let's get it on.

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  11. alright... I'll do it!

    btw: i hope lola brings her batteries to the designated return containers.

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  12. @Lola - Apologies accepted. As for the blog entry about a threesome, I was thinking about: Judas, Dude and Muffin Man.

    Now, that would be funny. Fun fun fun, I would say.

    @Ano (abbreviation which makes me giggles. In italian it means anus. I'm that stupid, yes) - Don't gatecrash a threesome.

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  13. Oh, Anon (I add an N since in Spanish it’s also anus), now we are just a twosome; Nah didn’t mean us.
    MM, Dude and Judas? Oh lord… That’s a very interesting image since not one of those boys is remotely ugly. Thank you for giving me something to think about, Nah.

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  14. I'm Nah, I make up sexual fantasies. And you are very welcome. Use that image wisely.

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  15. um even if they're hot, do you really enjoy a gay threesome?

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  16. Oh right, and most guys don't find girl on girl action arousing.

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  17. true. but that's not the question. do you find guys sucking guys off arousing?

    tbh, girl on girl action can get a bit boring imho

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  18. strictly speaking porn though, IRL that would be AWESOME :D

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  19. You find girl on girl porn boring? You obviously haven't seen lesbian gangbang-catfight. Everything but boring.

    There's something very sexy about gay porn, what can I say?

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  20. lesbian gangbang-catfight? do you have a link? ^^
    i dunno, i get very bored by overproduced, shiny, fake-boobage standard-porn, even in HD. Lesbian porn usually fits that description.
    It has to look somewhat real imho. YMMV.

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  21. You don't need a link. Do a quick a search for "lesbian gangbang", most videos come from a site called somethingcatfight.
    Some are relatively good, most of them are quite scary. You're being warned.

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  22. I think I love you :)

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  23. You're the same Anon as before?
    You love me because of the lesbian gangbang? (that's a phrase I never thought I would say)

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