Friday, May 6, 2011

I’m Sorry I Told So Many People About It

I, little miss “unfinished projects”, have achieved a hundredth blog entries, if I did my math right (nah, I have an entry counter; I’m too pretty to do math). I’m going to celebrate it in the most annoying way: doing a flashback episode.

I’m leaving all the grammar mistakes, because they are a big part of my awesomeness.

 

I have never used a washing machine, I don’t really know the value of money and… Have I mention I have terrible social skills? I mean, I’m truly awkward. I just stand there, make terrible jokes or just looking petrified.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 8, 2010
More Places and More Names

  1. That reminds me… I need to do my laundry today; I’m almost out of panties.
  2. My phone company surely knows the fucking value of my money.
  3. All my make-out partners tend to disagree on this one… Or they are into petrified looks (…or into boobs).

 

SATURDAY, JANUARY 23, 2010
A Little on the Young Side

This one will remain as my best blog entry ever.

 

Now, not only I just crossed the line between loving my dog and being a freak about it… I reek of wet dog

SUNDAY, JANUARY 31, 2010
What I don't Spend, I Lose

I miss reeking of wet dog ): Nothing fun to add here… I don’t joke about loving my dog.

 

Houston, we have a problem: I write wrote pure crap. 
I’m going through the months without finding something of substance… Why did people read me back then…?
Why was I even alive? </dramatics>

 

 

I’m actually voting for just one, but option number 2 doesn’t sound that bad after some research I made of other places, I’ll just say this: There’s a (just-girls) residency called “Slaves of Jesus Christ”.

MONDAY, MARCH 1, 2010
Do you Feel Absolutely no Concern for your Future, boy?

I’m usually not into cutesy acronyms but… LOL! Big fucking LOL! Life surely has an awesome sense of humor; I’m a Slave of Jesus Christ and I’m fucking proud of it.

 

Would you really rather regret something you did, that something you didn’t?

FRIDAY, MARCH 12, 2010
I Have a Splitting Headache

Bad decisions make awesome stories, kiddo.

 

Not much else to add; in this day and age Facebook words are even wiser: I’m not longer in a relationship.

FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 2010
Where the Hell is Everybody?

I  proudly announce I’m still rocking that single status.

 

My imaginary sex life is so great.

MONDAY, JUNE 7, 2010
Try to Relax Occasionally

I now realize I’m just way too hot to have a real sex life.

 

Cooking, cleaning the bathroom, ironing, grocery shopping. Activities that I try to have fun with, as I don’t do them very often. Activities that in a couple of months will be a big pain in the ass since I will be dealing with them on a daily basis.

SATURDAY, JUNE 26, 2010
I'm Going Alone. So Shut Up.

I was such an adorable little snowflake! Actually thinking I’d do those activities on a daily basis and not just when I have no other choice but doing them since my health or/and dignity are at stake.

 

We made out, and we made out hard. When I came out for air I noticed my brother wasn’t that far away from me; he looked right back, and with a very drunk smile on his face he offered my make-out partner a shot of tequila.

MONDAY, AUGUST 23, 2010
Daddy’ll Kill You

Really, dude? Making out in front of your big brother…? Classiest move to date.

 

I feel like embarrassing myself today (random need I have from time to time), and talking about my undying love for my brother’s roommate is the fastest way to reach my goal.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2010
In my Mind, I'm Probably the Biggest Sex Maniac You Ever Saw

You’d be amazed of how quickly that undying love died after I saw the filthy conditions he’s able to live in.
After spending so much time together I already see him as another big brother (one I’d fuck hard but a big brother indeed).

 

Does anybody knows someone from Valladolid…? Because I don’t.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2010
Very Phony, Ivy League Voices

I just copied this to say: I do know a lot of people in Valladolid ♥

 

There isn’t any other way of describing my current situation other than doing the polite thing: Inviting you all to my wedding with Rupert Grint. June, 3rd. Summer wedding, it’s going to be lovely.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2010
He’s Out in Hollywood

Good thing I read this. June, 3rd is scarily close and most of you haven’t RSVP; manners, guys!

 

‘There’s another woman involved, you selfish bitch’. Apparently all that ‘Girl Power” we like to brag so much about disappears when there’s guy in the picture.

In their sweet little minds, once the panties are off, dudes forget about everything else, including that those things they call girlfriends.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2010
Sensitive as a Goddam Toilet Seat

(I was physically unable to ignore the “that/those” mistake)
How easy was for me to judge those situations without being in one. I’m still not sure how true to my principles I was/am/can be.

 

You will tell me if I’m blowing this out of proportions, but what kind of 16-year-old boy is not in the mood for sex? I’d have to be some kind of leper for that to happened… And that’s a very low blow to my self-esteem

MONDAY, JANUARY 3, 2011
A Rude Bastard

No, I was wrong… Hating on a 16 year-old dude for not wanting to sex me up is my classiest move to date.

Any idiot would record their everyday thoughts but just a borderline retard would want to remind people of her own stupidity. Oh, well!

7 comments:

  1. Congratulations on 100 blogs!

    To that I add,

    “Cherish your mistakes, because you should only make them once.” I don’t if that is quote from someone, but it sounds too good for me to make it up.

    I would have to say, that since I have been reading your blog you have definitely matured. Regardless your blog has definitely been entertaining to read. As a male it’s good to get a female perspective on life and the world. Hopefully it lets me empathize with the female gender a little better. It probably also helps that you are a cute bilingual Mexican girl, but I will not dwell on that fact since I think you enough about that from your other blog followers.

    It has been enjoyable to read your blog entries and I hope you continue them in the future, or at least until you find somewhere better to spend your time. Let’s face it someday the hassles of life will be too great to keep this hobby going, but until that day I will enjoy each blog entry you make.

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  2. Congrats on 100 posts! This was quite the trip down memory lane! Really makes me want to go over my old posts, or possibly 10 year old Danni's diary?

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  3. I hate that old saying. You know, it really is all about the author writing your life book. That's who makes it a good read.

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  4. @Jules. I’m not sure if a give a fair female perspective; I guess I can’t be that different from the rest.
    I figured I’ll keep writing up until the point where I feel I’m not adding anything new. I want to leave this blog with a bit of class and not because I already bored everyone.

    @randomdanni. Thank you! I’d love a 10 year old Danni entry… but not so much as a college Danny <3

    @Anon. What old saying…? Huh? ):

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  5. So this has nothing to do with your blog, but I went on your tumblr (yes, I am a stalker) and I saw that gif with the girl deep throating the horse cock dildo...I'm speechless..and I'm geussing she is too!

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  6. "If your life was a book, would anyone read it?"

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  7. @NYCsir. Stalker? Come on, that tumblr is there to be seen and yeah, that gif is mind-blowing (I’m not sure if that’s a pun), I just kept watching it thinking “does it ever end!?”

    @Anon. Now everything makes sense…

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