Wednesday, May 25, 2011

No Kidding

I was just informed my dry but charming sense of humor makes me come off like an asshole, at least in front of people who don’t know me and/or think I’m incapable of making a joke.

No need to say I am unpleasantly surprised. I don’t consider myself many things but at least I think I’m polite. Since changing my ways would be a pain but I’m not comfortable with the idea of being unloved, here’s a pamphlet I made and everybody is getting one (yay!).

sarcasm is your friend
(and so am I!)

1. D o n ’ t    t a k e    m e    s e r i o u s l y
In fact, don’t take anything so seriously, you’re better off that way.

2. Confrontation scares me. I suck at comebacks and I cry easily.  Believe me, I wouldn’t insult you even if I wanted to.

3. When I tell (what I think it is) an awesome joke I laugh like an idiot, sometimes, making me unable to finish it.
Most of the times, though, my jokes are super lame and, as a sign of respect, I don’t laugh at them. It’s still a joke.
I’m not done with this point:

  • If I tell a friend to “shut up, you just want attention” and she doesn’t get offended/keeps talking, there’s no need for you to get offended for her.
  • If you felt the need to clarify that a dog is going to get check by a vet and not a human doctor someone had to mock you… No, no, seriously, what’s wrong with you? Can’t you laugh at yourself? It was a Disney-rated joke… Whatever, I don’t hang out with boring losers anyway.

4. Fuck you.




  1. Hahahaa @ #3...I do the same thing when I tell funny jokes...can you imagine if me and you we're trying to tell a joke to a group of people?

  2. Oh btw, I know I'm commenting like crazy here, but did anyone hear about the Brazilian woman who took her employer to court, and won the right to masterbate and watch porn while at work?

  3. Hi, this is sweetcadi. Feel free to delete after read.
    You know, your first paragraph, it's very true. All the comments you direct at me come out as extremely offensive. So... Just wanted to let you know that. I'll be sweet if you don't ask me those questions. I have no intention of making enemies. Thanks for reading this.

  4. ?A poco la raza se agüita con tu sentido del humor? hmmmta... ni modo, a veces necesitas recordar que tu hamster corre mas rápido, y es una de las cosas que te hace tan especial, ?Y que tiene de malo tu humor?, a mi me encanta... a lo mejor es solo que lo desperdicias con la gente equivocada.

    Much@s de mis amig@s son ingenier@s, matemátic@s, físic@s, biólog@s, hasta un neurocirujano, y todos compartimos esa clase de humor ácido y sarcástico que te hace pensar.

    No recuerdo quien lo dijo pero "no hay de que preocuparse, la inteligencia artificial nunca será rival para la estupidez natural"; imagino que se te quedan viendo con una cara de *what?* con tus chistes, tu no te agüites, tu toma las cosas de quien vienen.

    Ánimo niña, es solo cuestión de aprender como decodificar a la gente, y es un trabajo d eprueba y error.

    Suerte, no te desesperes, still reading!!

  5. @themadchikin. Subtle!

    @NYC. People would laugh at us instead of with us… But we wouldn’t care.
    Post how much you like :* Especially if it’s about porn.

    @Anon. I’m sorry but I didn’t get the memo when you and I were mad at each other. I don’t know what I told you, I rarely look at whom am I responding in failbook; to me (and I thought that it was the same for everybody else there) it is all a big joke.

    @Alejandro. Por lo general pasa con gente que no conozco, que tiene sentido hasta cierto punto… solo me gustaría que fueran lo suficientemente inteligentes para saber que si no los conozco no tendría los huevos para insultarlos o lo que sea. En verdad, solo ocurre con un pequeño porcentaje de personas, la mayoría agradecen que haga menos incomoda la situación.
    Por cierto, me encanta que hablas súper mexicano (jiji). Ya casi no escucho de eso, lo necesitaba.

  6. @Lola and sweetcadi (anom)
    i actually saw some comments in failbook where you both were participating and didn't see nothing special in the sense of insulting. Just a lot of sillyness and joking around, normal to that kind of sites. I did enjoy to see some of your (both) answers about swallowing.

  7. thank you pedro, that should clear things up ^^

  8. @Lola Subtlety is not my specialty. I rather the direct approach. Or from the rear. ;)

  9. @themadchikin: the lady did mention that she prefers the subtlety of cunnilingus.

  10. So, giving the first point of your list I didn't take you seriously. Therefore:

    - You are really good at confrontation.
    - You don't think that your jokes are awesome, but they actually are and you don't even grin at them.
    - We will not fuck ourselves (and that's unfortunate 'cause I've some nice toys ._.)

    But then I read "don't take ANYTHING so seriously". Doesn't that make the statement itself a joke ? Am I supposed to take everything seriously ? Gawd, I'm trapped. HALP!

  11. @bob_super She didn't say "fuck me" she said "fuck you". And I must say, I am a cunning linguist. Don't be jelly that the lady and I are engaged. Be happy for us. :)

  12. ^ I like this guy. Bet you smell like peach <3

  13. @Lola. I can post as much porn as I like? Hmm... Since we're on the subject of random people having awsome sex, when are we hanging out?

  14. @NYCdood That's my fiancee you're talking to! ;P

  15. @Pedro. I said something about swallowing…? Hummm, seriously, failbook is like being drunk; I say a bunch of stupid stuff and then forget about it.

    I’m just going to sit here and see how guy fight for my love… Knowing this isn’t even a fight but it’s the closest I’ll ever be to one.

    @NYCdood. Please don’t post porn. Don’t abuse my hospitality!

  16. @Lola. I'm sorry, my joking font was off :/

    @Chicken. We shall duel for her hand, good sir!

  17. @NYC. I'm sorry, my joking font was off :*

  18. @NYC Why dont we let her pick, yeah? I wouldnt want to hurt you.

    @Lola It seems you have a decision to make

  19. I choose moving to one of those countries where women are allowed to marry multiple guys.

  20. - In other societies, there are people who live in de facto polyandrous arrangements that are not recognized by the law. Saskatchewan Canada is the only jurisdiction in North America to have "judicially sanctioned" polyandrous unions at a family law court level. -

    I won't have to move that far, apparently.