Monday, May 2, 2011

Sex Rules for Myself

Do you ever wonder if some of your principles are just an elegant excuse for being a coward?

I’ve grown to think it’s my duty to update you on my social life and then share the life lesson I got from it… Today won’t be any different.

Let me start saying that night I looked pretty damn hot. I’m throwing it out there so people understand how frustrating it was for me to be wasting all my hotness as a third-wheel for my friend Muffin and her Man. Guys did come up to me (did I mention I looked hot?) but I was only interested in one. Judas, being your typical frat boy was too busy getting drunk with his friends to approach me more than very few times. I did consider approaching him but, either my principles or my lack of metaphorical balls, stopped me.

He has a girlfriend. If he isn’t going out of his way to talk to me, I just have to assume he is happy with his current situation and respect that. What’s the difference between that and not having the courage to break up a couple…? It is a thin line that being intoxicated and disappointed as I was couldn’t figure out. 

In paper (or in Microsoft Word) my whole mental process seems pretty classy; in reality, I ended up yelling at a random guy. It was a shitty night and the guy was being annoying as fuck, shut up, I never yell.

Life is too short to carry a bad night on your shoulders. After Muffin almost dragged me out of the bathroom, I decided she convinced me I am too pretty to be in such a crappy mood. 

Operation: “omg! look who’s there and looking hot” began.

Remember the guy, from one of my classes, who was flirting with me before his “friends” decided to cockblock him? The one I, being 15 at heart, decided to nickname him Cute Guy? If you do, you will understand I owed him a make out session… What kind of person would I be if I didn’t show this poor guy life isn’t always unfair?

We were making out at the backseat of his car when he confessed he wasn’t looking for anything serious… Before I could ask him if my tongue down his throat felt as a marriage proposal he wondered if I could maintain a casual relationship.

I said no.

My principles (that word again!) have been answering that question for a while now. I can’t have a sex buddy; people I get attached and things get messy. Or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself since I was 16. Being such an adorable little cynic I find it hard to believe I could confuse sex with love nowadays… I’m too much of a coward to figure it out, anyway.


  1. "I owed him a make out session"
    Am I the only one in your male audience to wonder why I don't know girls like you IRL?

  2.'s really funny that you said that. I have an ex who always calls me when she's drunk and (inevitably) horny. She starts talking dirty and we begin to reminisce. We then come to the conclusion that we should be fuck buddies. When I call her the next day (when she's sober and doesn't remember shit) she tells me she can't be a fuck-buddy...she'll get "emotionaly attached again". I hate that bitch >:/

  3. @bob_super: I know what you mean!

    @Lola: There's nothing wrong with feeling an attachment. It's not cowardly and it's not cynical to think that way. It means you don't want to be used, and who the hell does? And if a guy, no matter how cute he is, isn't into you for what YOU want then ditch the bastard. No need to ever settle for less than what you want. And that's all there is to it.

  4. @bob_super SAME!

    you should try a sex buddy, its jokes, for real. also
    you are seriously funny, reading your blog makes me lul.
    read mine? haha but seriously read mine.

  5. This is my first time posting so I'll start with the obligatory 'You're Hot' comment.

    Anyways, I hate to say it, but you are talking about 20something college boys, most of them are not thinking about relationships, just sex. If you want to experiment, go with it you only live once. If you don't, don't worry you will find someone who actually wants a relationship eventually. It's all up to you, Carpe Diem, You only live once, and all that jazz.

    Buena Suerte with it all

  6. I hate to say it, well not really, but Darujack is right. I'm 23 and relationships aren't at the top of my list either. Damn you Darujack, and your insightfulness! *shackes fist violently*

  7. Cute Guy = moron.
    You don't tell a girl you don't want anything serious until afterwards -_- it's way too risky (q.e.d.), as she is pressed to prove her dignity by refusing even if she wants that ONS right now.

    what a waste of sex.

  8. @Lola You are quite right it would be hard to get into a relationship without some form of attachment. The truth of the matter is both men and women think they can carry on the whole sex buddy thing, because they want sex and would do anything to get it. This includes lying to themselves about not forming an emotional attachment. I don’t see how you could strip down, intertwine yourself with another person and enjoy intense pleasure with that person and not form some kind of emotional bond. A one night stand is about the closest thing to non-attachment you can get and even this still gets dicey sometimes. Plus just to imagine sex without emotion basically turning the other person into a tool; something to be used when you feel the need. For me that is not what sex is about, nor would I want to trivialize it down to that base state. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy sex, can’t get enough you might say, but it would not be the same without the messy intense emotional investment that goes together with the rhythmic thrusting. We are creatures of both mind and body, sex with just the body is only ½ as fun.

  9. @bob. You probably do… Look for the quiet ones.

    @NYCsir. I laughed at the “I hate that bitch” part… All girls have a “cockteaser” side.

    @Kagedo. I agree, you should never settle for less than what you want… Problem comes when I don’ know what I want.

    @Essex. I will take your advice into account; just read your blog, I wanna go to bed early so I’ll comment you tomorrow :*

    @Darujack. Wait. Wait. Wait… Who’s looking for a relationship?
    So you’re from the Carpe Diem club too? Glad to meet you! : D

    @NYCsir, again :D!. Again, why are you guys mentioning relationships? I know better than not to look for them with guys I make out in bars.

    @Anon. No, come on… I can let you go thinking that way. Cute guy wasn’t getting any sex either way; I’m way too old to have sex at a backseat of a car, so that day it was completely ruled out. Trying to get it another day would have involved going out together and the question “what? We are dating now?” would come up which would lead to a mess. Better to get things straight, you simple things could get.

    @Jules. I always love your comments <3 and yep… You’re completely right. Either it’s a one night stand or a relationship… I… I think there’s nothing left to say, I’d just be repeating what you just said.

    @Anon. ... ok… good.

  10. Pedro CalheirosMay 4, 2011 at 1:32 AM

    awwww. I'm (or i rather think "used to be") just like that. I have this thing that if i go for it i have to mean serious business. Then again, i would very much enjoy having a fuck budy and think i could control it alright. I even have some dirty chats that goes towards that end but geography isn't kind to me! Anyways... you should be proud of you principles and the way you kept them... even if now your horny and not getting nothing! Things will change for the best ;)

  11. @ Lola. "I laughed at the “I hate that bitch” part… All girls have a “cockteaser” side."

    *cockTASTER* ;)

  12. Love your new image for two reasons:
    1. you say "Fuck Youuuu"
    2. nice white shining dildo on the left

  13. @dennis
    1. Nope try again.
    2. How many bed posts do you used as a dildo?

  14. @Julio Iglesias

    2. I'm guessing that's a chair. Am I the winner ?And... you'd be surprised about how much necessity stimulates fantasy.

  15. @Pedro. Dirty chats don’t develop the same attachment as the actual thing, for obvious reasons. I also think it’s different for women and men… But what do I know.

    @NYCsir. Just a few audacious ones.

    @rest… omgwhatswrongwithyou? I was in my grandparents house when I shot that little video, there are no shinny dildos there… That I know of D:
    It is the back of the chair.
    I didn’t say fuck you… I actually don’t remember what I was saying; I was talking to a friend… I just looked at the recording and thought “I could be saying penis” and I laugh... Because I’m semiretarded.

  16. you definitely said "fuck you"
    it's not even remotely close to "penis"