I reached a 100th followers and this is my way to celebrate it
To every girl who has picked
the name of their future kids after having a nice,
10 minute conversation with a guy
& to my mom, just because… Hi mom!
Note from the Author
I don’t know how to flip my hair to get guys attention and, apparently, I missed the “shake that thang” lesson. Being socially handicapped, I have no advice on how to get a man; being, then, a shy nymphomaniac I was forced to develop a mentality to survive the constant deception: whatever, if I’m not getting myself under him, I will just get over him. On that subject, my fellow cunt, I do have advice.
you’re enjoying yourself,
I don’t need to know your situation. You’re loving it. Even if it’s just deep down.
Call me a shallow twat, if your will, I don’t get to have layers; I simply confess I j’adore crushing on a guy. However, these days being dramatic is the new interesting and people consider liking someone a burden; that’s cool, whatever suits you… but if this is your situation, please admit you somewhat enjoy it. It will be our little secret…
You must enjoy an aspect of it; you wouldn’t be in this position otherwise. Perhaps you don’t enjoy the anxiety involved and I’ll be the first one to admit not being liked back is a kinda shitty. Nevertheless, if you’re a bit like me, you find relieving there’s someone so funny/hot/smart/whateverrocksyourworld out there.
I’m pointing all this crap out just to make you accept that you’re in whatever situation because you want to be and, just like that, if you really want to, you can get out of it.
is it ‘luv <3’? seriously, bitch…?
Hey. I get it, you want to make this guy special from the rest. How are your friends ever going to take you seriously if you don’t make up some kind of soul mate or spark bullshit? That’s why I’m prescribing you a big dose of skepticism with a side of cynicism.
Unless the guy has proven he can be trusted with your feelings, whatever you’re having it’s not that big deal… It’s just wishful thinking. He’s not that awesome. He’s not that different. Your conversations are not that deep and meaningful. You’re not that alike. You’re not that into him, you’re into the idea of being with him.
if it’s not fun,
it’s not worth it
People affect you just as much as you let them. I bet you’ve thought you found “the one” before meeting your current one; I bet you’ve felt you wouldn’t be able to move on until you did… And if you’re reading this I’m predicting you are alive and, therefore, haven’t died from being so in love or from the heartbreak that comes afterwards.
Let me tell you a little story: This female friend of mine (she doesn’t need a cute nickname) told me, not so long ago, I couldn’t possibly understand the pain of longing for a guy because I’m always having “such great times”. Well… yes. Yes. She’s right. It’s not that guys fall for me (ha!), I get rejected and disposed just like she does, big difference between us is that I don’t expect guys to change their minds: fuck them. Being emotionally incapable of liking you shouldn’t be in your “perfect man” list.
(I’m assuming you’re young and carefree… Since it’s my only area of expertise)
Stop believing your love life rests on some higher power. Be reckless and stupid. Imagine yourself years from now, popping out kids and having to be responsible for some else’s sake. Do you want your memories to be about that awesome guy and his awesome music taste (whose memories won’t be about that girl who only liked “as a friend”) or some impressive shit that would be illegal to tell your children?
My methods shock the romantic types, I know. Before you get the wrong idea, consider yourself warned: jumping from guy to guy at bars won’t bring you happiness; however, is equally foolish to expect a stable relationship to do that for you either.
(obligatory ego buster section)
I really believe that you don’t need anybody who doesn’t think you’re so fucking awesome you must poop rainbows; they would bore you on the long run.
Please tell me you’re not the kind who needs a “you deserve so much more” speech. Come on, dudette… You own the pussy and the titties, guys dig that. You don’t need anybody saying you deserve someone who gives a shit because you already know it; you probably do poop rainbows.