Friday, June 17, 2011

Sore and Childish

There’s nothing I hate more than when guys claim girls always fall for the jerks.

I’m going for dramatics with this entry;
there are tons of things I hate more than that, for example:
- exams
- people who dislike puppies
- hangovers

- unflushed toilets
Oh, and I guess that war stuff kinda sucks too

Dear self-proclaimed nice guys:

  1. You don’t have to finish last.
  2. There’s a difference between nice and dumb.

Sure, some girls do like mean guys, just like some girls enjoy the Twilight series… Shit happens, I won’t ever understand it but the rest of us don’t have to carry that fucking burden.

You know, I’ve been a girl for as long as I can remember and I’ve had a very traditional girl-upbringing. From marrying Barbie and Ken a zillion times to discussing contraceptives, I have done the whole ritual; I know girls. Even behind all those mind games I know what they want and, trust me on this one, lovely dick-carrier, they don’t want jerks.

Confidence. Bitches love confidence.

Confident guys are mistaken with jerks. Confident girls are mistaken with sluts. I’m guessing our society wants to give a negative connotation to people who feel secure enough to get what they want; whatever, I’m too pretty to think deeper than that, so I’ll let society figure that one out on their own.

I’ll keep this short and simple.

You are not being a nice guy if you:

  • long for the girl
  • do whatever she asks you to do
    (while you both have your clothes on and she’s not willing to do a thing for you)
  • constantly remind her how you feel about her
    (when she doesn’t feel the same way)
  • follow her wherever she goes
    (without her previous consent… or even with her consent) 
  • want to bang her but instead you’re listening to her whining about other guys

You are, actually, being an idiot and, probably, a creep. I’m sorry to break it up to you but… That’s not sexy, honey.

If you don’t think you can do better than the “good friend” status, we won’t either. If letting her go and/or admitting to yourself it’s a hopeless situation, means being a jerk… Be the biggest jerk you can be.

I know my audience; guys don’t need an ego buster section, you just need boobs… Enjoy:



  1. Damn, those silicone babies are about to burst a leak!
    Much obliged.

    And you're totally right, of course.
    I just wish certain girls were strong enough to realize and get out of abusive relationships they don't have to settle for.
    Some of that stems from daddy issues and the sort, which is why I'm trying to pick up with my sisters where my dad hasn't quite succeeded.

  2. This is actually, well, a really nice wake up call. The boobs were necessary, so I thank you for that.

  3. I'm not even angry, im impressed. You pegged my relationship with this one girl. She did let me fuck her when we were drunk every now and then... but yeah, I am that dumbass you just described. U've dotted ur i's and crossed ur t's on me except for the constantly reminding her about my feelings and following wherever she goes.

    god damnit u r fuckin good.

  4. "If you show them boobs they will cum".

  5. Some true words all around. I still think that many girls like jerks thought, and i mean real jerks... but my theory is they just like to complain about it :P
    Anyways, about confidence and nice guy beeing diferent than dumb guys you hit the nail. Good advices! I always wondered how most girls know this instinctively and most guys never seem to catch on. Lucky for us, some girls like you are willing to share the wisdom. Kudos

  6. In the nice guy’s defense.

    Nice guys don’t typically have a lot of confidence. That what makes us “nice” we don’t think we are the shit, so we rely on politeness and respect to attract girls. If a guy is confident this typically means he does not need to be nice to attract girls, thus he becomes a jerk, because he doesn’t need to put in the extra effort to be nice. This is not always the case, but is probably typical.

    As for your points:

    -Longing for someone, because most people just don’t instantly see someone and jump into a relationship, is a very typical behavior and I don’t see anything wrong with it. (AKA the cute guy you are stalking in class)

    -Do what is asked of you is a natural instinct of nice guys. We don’t do it to get laid. We do it only to be nice, no reward is required. This is the definition of a nice guy. I do draw the line when someone starts to take advantage of my generosity.

    -I agree with you on your point about telling her how you feel when she does not feel the same. At that point you should cut off any notion of a relationship.

    -Yes, following her is creepy.

    -I am on the fence about this last one. Listen to the other person is part of growing a relationship. However if she constantly harping about other guys, or has no interest it you (see point 3) move on. She is not worth it.

    P.S. As far as your included image, my type is small and athletic, so for me anything bigger than b is a turnoff.

  7. I don't think I've ever loved you as much as I do right now. I may have to forward this to a few silly boys I know... <3

  8. There's a demarcation line between being nice because you aren't you won't get anything and being abuse-me nice. With many women, that line isn't fixed. Guys are friendly and nice, move the line to profit from it. Attractive guys that will no go further than friendship benefit from the line recession. Guys that the girl isn't interested in can track the line for a while but will end up trapped on the wrong side, either because they misjudged, or because the girl snapped it back behind them (often single-handedly, without the guy changing his behavior). The line can snap behind someone but stay the same for others, and attractiveness is a major factor on who survived the snap.
    It's not just guys and girls, many do it to a smaller extent to a lot of "friends" they get bored of.

    There is also a moving divider between nice, confident and jerk. Lots of guys step on the wrong side of the line, and it's often more obvious to the external observer than to the parties involved. We also whine about the jerks for what they do while outside of the perception field of the girl they're confident towards (nasty bragging being the obvious case).
    Girls say they want confident, but when nice upgrades to confident, he's also often susceptible to ridicule, if previously cataloged as nice and shoved into friend zone. While the attractive guy can move from confident to jerk undetected (or worse, under it-must-be-me cover).
    Not that nice guys don't regularly need to uncreep and man up, but if it was that caricaturally easy...

  9. And I'm missing a few words there, an "if", a "girls", and whatever else a second reading didn't catch.

    I'll blame the boob-grabbing, even if it's probably more comfortable without that bra.

  10. Fake boobs are a fetish - I think most folks really prefer the real ones.

    Women are supposed to be made by God for our arousal & pleasure - worship and adore our nether regions, etc.. - Putting plastic balloons on the chest ..It doesn't make the magic happen.

  11. I wonder if the not-so-nice guy is a humanity-wide phenomenon or one among the many social illnesses of our western society.

    Nice boobs tho

  12. Why is everyone assuming the boobs are fake? Is there a way to tell that I don't know?

  13. On the other hand... when I was single, I didn't get hit on at the bars NEARLY as much as I did when I was married. So, when I got divorced - as a social experiment - I wore a ring!

    Lo and behold, when I wore the ring, I went through veg faster than a Whole Foods store.

    Is this a confidence thing? Or, is it the fact that going "heels to Jesus" for a married man (and consequently, a cheater) turns women on?

    Paging Dr. Freud!!

  14. Thank you DITH!
    I’m not saying those boobs must be real but judging by the picture they could totally be… And they’re not even that big. Take into account the girl’s position and that she has a push up bra on… If that wasn’t enough there are two hands squishing them… Of course they look relatively big but they fit perfectly on those hands, so they can’t be that big.
    My boobs look exactly the same under those conditions and I’m a B cup, barely a C, if I’m on my period. So no, they are at a perfectly acceptable size! D:

  15. @Martin. Well, yeah… I have met screw up girls who like to be mistreated… But I’ve met guys under the same condition too.

    @Carter. I’m glad, hon :*

    @Sun. Happens to the best of us.

    @NYC. …Ok…

    @ Pedro. It’s the same thing with insecure girls, dude; when you feel a girl getting clingy and jealous you immediately back out. Unless you like that, which also happens.

    @ Jules. Sure, nice and insecure may happened but nice and secure is just as common. I know a bunch, so I don’t even doubt it.
    We have different definitions for longing; I don’t mean a simple crush or just being interested… When I say longing, I mean this melodramatic “I need her and don’t want anyone but her even though she doesn’t want me”.

    @Danni. It’s because I’m pretty, right? :D

    @bob. I can’t even argue you with a point you made there. Yes, attractive people can get away with more, applies with men and women; sad and unfair but true. Pretty people will always have advantage over not so pretty ones.

    @xarnae. *crickets* I… Don’t know.

    @Roy. That one is easy; a taken guy is not desperate for pussy…
    Is that “desperation” that makes girls nervous.
    That and some girls (like guys) want what they can’t have.

  16. True, but I think it might also have some "daddy issues" at it's core. I think 99.9% of society wants what they can't have... hell, I want a Bugatti Veyron in my garage simply because I can't have it (it's not practical or cheap), but I'm not going steal one to get my hands on it.

    Violating clearly defined boundaries to get a hold of something simply because you can't have it is (in my humble opinion) evidence that the desire is so pervasive in a girl's (or guy's) psyche as to be defined as "unhealthy". And a guy who is willing to allow a girl to violate those boundaries speaks volumes to his "asshole" status, and wether she realizes it or not... this fact is in the back her mind, and the girl WANTS that asshole guy in her muffin at the end of the night.

  17. @Lola. I thought what I said was pretty funny. Like that movie: "If you build it, they will come". You see? I'm clever (not really).

  18. @Roy. I hope you realize you’re talking about a very specific group of women. Yes, some have no respect for wives or girlfriends but saying they all do is like saying all men are willing to cheat.
    @NYC. I got that, I’m smart like that :D I just didn’t have anything smart to add.

  19. Bewbs... :P (although I'm more of an assman)
    I know guys who built secret shrines to girls they were longing for and in the end eventually got them but once that challenge was over they basically stop caring about them and the relationship (if you can call it that) goes nowhere, fast. That is something I never understood...
    But anyhoo, if I'm into a girl first I make sure it's not the clingy/manipulative/bitchy type before making a move...

  20. I'm not saying it's good or bad... "to each their own" is a motto I live by to the letter. I'm just saying it's prevalent. My ex-wife blew a guy in a bathroom while I was out of the country (not that I can blame her.. in the four years we were married, we spent less than six months on the same continent).

    But, "specific group" is a misleadingly broad term -- the majority of women THINK this way (just like the majority of men think, "I'd fuck that ass all night!" whenever an attractive woman walks by), but a much smaller percentage actually ACT on these thoughts. And the ones who don't outwardly disrespect marital status, usually find other, more devious ways to get the (wo)man they want... such as sabotage.

    I've always found it interesting how the human psyche works. The vast majority of men who are imprisoned for rape wouldn't classify themselves as rapists, because in their own warped mind, the act was warranted. Just like how the majority of cheaters/misogynists/sexual deviants wouldn't classify themselves as such because their actions are "normal" in their own mind.

    Rationalization is a skill we humans have absolutely perfected through the centuries.

  21. Divorce rates are astronomical in the U.S., and "infidelity" is one of the leading causes. This speaks volumes to just how big of a problem this really is. Everyone puts on the brave "I disapprove of cheaters" face... but their actions tell a different story.

  22. I must say that this is a great post. Considering its seriousness and the endings humor, wonderful. *claps*

    I think every guy has been in this situation, even some of the most confident guys feel they're not enough. I'd say it's right on the money about confidence, even if you aren't confident, fake it. Eventually it'll become real :D

  23. @Mike. I think it also has to do with the amount of expectations they had. After all that time they build this perfect relationship on their head and then, of course, were disappointed by the outcome.

    @Roy. I really don’t know what to add here; I could discuss this on and on but the truth is that I have never seen it. I don’t hang around with married people, other than my parents… The people I hang out, I have heard of a couple who have cheated on boyfriends or girlfriends but not a vast majority at all. I wouldn’t really now.

    @SheetOutoHLuck. My philosophy exactly; it doesn’t come naturally at first, you will maybe feel like you’re lying to yourself at first but you’d end up believing it…