Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Skinny Legs

Still on my summer break, I have invested a lot of my precious youth on Tumblr – also known as, blog wasteland; where all the internet jokes come to die. I’m not surprised of my newly found addiction, since it fills those lazy afternoons with Harry Potter jokes, porn and puppies; also it’s the only place I can, accurately, say “I’m following Joseph Gordon-Lewitt”… Which, not trying to sound pathetic here, it’s all I ask for in life… Of course, behind every great site, there are a bunch of kids trying to fuck it up. In this case, the “Special Snowflake” kinda gal has made Tumblr, her bitch.

I know the special snowflake syndrome, I went through it when I was 14 (and I mastered it in black eyeliner and Hot Topic clothing)… But the hipster revolution has only made it worse. You know, the trend that has made people my age, and older, desperate to stand out in the most absurd and irrelevant ways… Like listening to underground music. Shit, most of the songs my grandfather listens to are unknown and he has never been a dick about it.

Teenage girls, really embrace this fashion because they are looking for a way to define themselves… And what a charming way they found:

I’m not like other girls.

Well, that’s nice.

Do they fight crime at night or have chocolate milk coming out of their nipples? Nah. This is, generally, what distinguish those mystic creatures:

Hi! I love videogames! I’m not obsessed with clothes, I only own a pair of shoes and I, rarely, wear make up. I don’t count calories, actually, I love cheese burgers! I’m the complete opposite of any kind of dull feminine stereotype you can think of…! So, to make a long story short, I’d play Halo with you, and let you touch my boobs! And make you a sandwich…


At their given time, they will learn, just like I did, that there’s no such thing as “your typical kind of girl”. If there is, a pair of converse, The Smiths discography or, even, a taste for anal, won’t suffice to sent them apart from the rest.


  1. I agree, but just want to add...

    As I guy, I just have to say to all the other guys. If you find a girl who is for the most part sane and rational jump all over that. If you believe you have found a sane a rational girl. Live with her for a year and then re-assess. After a year living together if you find her to still be sane and rational, marry her on the spot. And what ever you do don't lose her, you won't find another.

  2. Jules is right. Most guys want a genuine girl (because any "extra" personality traits will change). We dream of sex with the top model, but we want to live with a logical being, one that doesn't "fart higher than her ass", thinks she has to be something she's not (whether it's looking ragged or fabulous), or dreams higher than your paycheck.
    True, the current economy needs more girls that try very hard to disguise themselves, just to attain or flee a vain ephemeral image.
    I'll watch from the corner, as I hit on the girl with the sneakers, T-shirt and no makeup.

  3. But you see, that’s my problem right there… A girl with sneakers is in no way better than a girl with high heels… And I have no ulterior motive to defend that; I’m so clumsy, high heels would break my ass, and I if I try to apply makeup on myself, I’d end up looking like one of the guys from Tokio Hotel.
    The groomed, stupid and shallow girl is a silly stereotype… So is the “untidy” chill and smart girl.

  4. My point was that the sneakers girl I'm hitting on is not trying to be anything. She's in T-shirt and sneakers because she's comfortable, not because they're not heels. she could be in heels if she genuinely found them comfortable, as opposed to being a decoration.
    Many men, note I didn't even say most, my opinion doesn't have to be majority, many men, I said before impolitely interrupting myself like only my schizophrenic self can do, many men do know that while banging the model would be cool, if it's gonna last more than a week, we need the girl that wakes up in our bed to be the same girl that we took there. The sneakers girl can be playing a role too, but she's already more likely to be the same person in the morning as when you found her.

  5. " I’d play Halo with you, and let you touch my boobs! And make you a sandwich…"

    I put something like that in a wanted ad once ..

  6. Is this you?
    It looks like you.

  7. @Anonymous
    This is the full image


  8. @bob. See, I know it’s really easy to judge… Hell, I have done it a bunch of times. I was raised by a woman who didn’t have heels or make up to steal from, when I was a child and playing to be a grown up. I see the whole ritual as strange. However, I understand why they do it and I don’t hold it against them; there must be very few girls (or persons, for that matter) who don’t want to look good.
    I have gone out with a lot of my friends; they looking like princesses and I, wearing my charming personality… And I go by mostly ignored, it’s not until a very drunk guy looks at me, carefully, and says “hey! You’re not that bad!”
    Girls will stop putting make up on the minute shallowness goes out of style… Which I don’t see it happening.

    @Interweebshobo. I used to play halo with my brothers… They weren’t interested on the second part, because we are not weirdos.

    @Anon. Please tell me you’re kidding. No offense to the person, whoever he/she is… But I’m begging you to tell me you’re kidding.

    @Xarnae. Well, aren’t you a detective!

  9. @LolaDahl

    Well... I was not kidding, the picture was taken in Torreon, she looks like you (as far as I can tell from the pictures I've seen of you), and she has curly hair, so I thought that it was possible it could be you...

  10. @ Anon: Seriously look at that picture again. I'm not even sure that's a woman and even if it is she definitely doesn't look like Lola. The person on the picture has curly hair and is slim, that's about as far as the resemblance goes.

    @ Lola: The thing about shallowness is that judging someone's looks takes about 0.5 seconds while assessing someone's personality takes at the very least an hour of serious conversation - which is not something you're very likely to have with somebody you've just met. Also it doesn't matter if you're lookig for a one night stand, a serious relationship or just a new friend, how physically attractive we find somebody always influences how we feel about them. (fortunately the reverse is true as well, but that doesn't come into play when you first meet someone) So being drawn to the people you find more attractive is just natural even if you're not looking for anything sexual at all.

    Also putting on makeup, wearing pretty but possibly uncomfortable clothes and so on isn't necessarily something you do so other people find you more attractive (at least not directly) In my case the much more important factor is the confidence boost I get out of wearing nice clothes. (even if those tight jeans aren't quite as comfortable as my old ones and it's really too cold to wear no jacket over my a button up shirt)
    Confidence is attractive to just about anybody and as long as somebody doesn't get theirs by torturing kittens I really don't see why I should think any less of them for wearing a short skirt.

  11. Those girls are fun to use, without knowing they're being used. But they'll shape up eventually, like you said, it's all a phase (hopefully) There are only 3 things i look for in a girl, forward thinking, intelligence, and aherm... something else I won't mention :)

    But I really do agree with this hipster movement. I went to college in a very hipster city, it sucked. 4 years of that and I'm done, no more for me. Just thinking about it makes me want to go out on a tangent..

  12. I find the hipster culture to be terminally ill of a grave case of irony. The generally accepted defining ideas of ``hipsterism'' are to go against what is put forth as mainstream and to promote independent thinking and originality. These goals are, however, contradictory. By looking at what is mainstream and doing the exact opposite, one does not achieve intellectual freedom; were it mainstream to wear those comfortable sneakers, would a [female] hipster wear high heels just for the sake of being different? That's not independent thinking, that's just doing the opposite of something. And when there's an entire group of people all doing the opposite of something all at the same time, how can there be originality? There seem to be three obvious life choices for a confused soul; the TV-dictated mainstream culture way, the anti-mainstream counter-culture way, and the use-your-goddamn-brain-once-in-a-while way. Choose wisely.

  13. Actually among my social circle (which includes some hipsters even if they wouldn't dream of calling themselves that) we understand hipsters simply as people with a certain (although very loosely defined) taste in music and an unusally high interest in fashion combined with the constant attempt to be among the first ones to adapt a new trend. The whole being ironic and automatically disliking everything "mainstream" thing is more of a running gag that the hipsters themselves enjoy the most.

    Disliking everything that is "mainstream" is neither limited to the hipster scene nor has it originated there. In my opinion it has always been part of the quest every teenager who feels like he doesn't fit in (i.e. every teenager) embarks on to find his identity.
    By disliking everything mainstream you automatically establish your superiority to quite a lot of people. If you think about it it's much more clever than just disliking some subcultures or other small minorities.

  14. @Anon. Well, yeah, what dom said… Aside from the curliness, I don’t see a lot of myself in that person. It’s cute I’m in your mind, though :*

    @dom. Yes! I don’t know if I should add something else because we are clearly on the same page. Wanting to look good doesn’t make a person shallow or vapid. It’s something everyone does, one way or another… And I, personally, don’t want to look down on girls who decide to go through certain beauty routines that aren’t my own.

    @sheetoutluck & xarnae & dom (hi, again! Yay!). It’s understandable that people want to be different and lazy at the same time… Just liking a crappy indie band. I guess we should just be honest with ourselves and admit we all fall for it from time to time. So that I do understand, what I really dislike about the movement is that false sense of superiority it gives people. One thing is to like something not very popular and another to feel like you are better than anyone who doesn’t.