Sunday, October 16, 2011

Guys that Never Read Books

Main reason why you should never read
“He’s Just Not That Into You”:

What you’ll read
(real excepts)

An excuse is a polite rejection. If he wants to find you, he will. If he’s not calling you, it’s because you’re not on his mind. “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship” truly means “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship with you.” Drinking and drug use are not a path to one’s innermost feelings. Don’t give him the chance to reject you again. He’s married! There’s never a reason to shout at someone unless they are in imminent danger. Cut him off; let him miss you.

 

What you’ll deduce from it

What the fuck am I doing? Of course he doesn’t really like me… I’m just a warm hole for him to put his dick in! I deserve someone who doesn’t make me wait one whole fucking hour for a text…!
I can’t even go crying with my friends. Those idiots are even worse. They’re always talking about “going out for drinks”… THOSE ARE NOT FUCKING PATHS FOR ONE’S INNERMOST FUCKING FEEELINGS!
Forget about telling my brother, either; he already shouted at me, 12 years ago, when I broke his walkman… He has probably been saving up his anger, all this time, and ends up hitting me… I’m pretty sure everyone will understand if I accuse him of domestic violence before anything else happens.
You know who won’t understand, though? My father. He won’t understand because he’s married. Married! There’s a whole chapter about married men here and they’re not good people.
Why is this happening to me? I’M A GOOD PERSON!

 

"We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It's a death trap."
-Anthony Hopkins

5 comments:

  1. “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship” truly means “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship with you.”

    You see, I never understood this. What is a non-serious relationship? In my [awfully wrong and deformed] view of the world, there's ``friends'', ``friends with benefits'', ``relationship'' and ``married'' (colloquially referred to as the terminal phase). Well, there's also ``cheating bastard'' and ``never sober, always confused''. Back to the subject at hand, my feeling is that most of this relationship-related nonsense and drama spurs from the lack of proper (and sincere) communication regarding their status, especially prior to, you know, fucking each other's brains out. Any mismatch in the perceived relation status is bound to eventually lead to something really really bad.

    Of course he doesn’t really like me… I’m just a warm hole for him to put his dick in! I deserve someone who doesn’t make me wait one whole fucking hour for a text...!

    People can get busy. Very busy. Like barely three hours of sleep per night and working almost nonstop the rest of the time kind of busy. Sure, if you know for a fact he doesn't have shit to do but won't bother answering text messages from you, then okay, but otherwise, don't go jumping to conclusions.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was kidding with the whole “waiting an hour for a text”… If we didn’t wait between texts we would spend whole days with our hands glued to our cell phones. The whole paragraph was just a big joke; I’m not accusing my brother of domestic abuse either.
    Although… I do see your point on lack of communication leading to disaster, and I agree!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That why I stick to reading fiction, because it requires the use of suspension of disbelief.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah... Tell that to the Potterheads or Twihards.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That requires basic intelligence to understand that suspension of disbelief applies to fiction and we live in a non-fictional world (most of the time.) An imagination is a good place to visit, I just don't have a permanent residence there.

    ReplyDelete