Sunday, November 13, 2011

Are You Drunk?

I’ve notice that one of the most popular topics of my blog is the simple and typical college social life. That’s awesome and perfectly understandable, but you should know that, normally, I don’t have any. Last year was a novelty; you know, first year out of my parents’ house = get home every weekend so drunk that chick from the Exorcist would be proud. The real Lola, the “I have experienced that already… Can we, please, move on?”  Lola prefers going to the movies, eat junk food and, lately, masturbate furiously to the sound of a British accent.

This weekend I decided to do a little sacrifice, just for you, guys. I went through the tumultuous task of buying a pretty cocktail dress, doing my hair and serving myself a couple glasses of free sangria; all to be a convincing undercover reporter… Just for you, guys <3

I figured it would be a great night, amongst other people, the party included Grey, Dude, Muffin and Muffin Man… Characters, that by their own, have been interesting topics for my blog. All together should be amazing, right? RIGHT?

Well…

They probably were. I’m sure. Grey and Dude hooked up, and Muffin and her man had a pretty huge fight. Sadly, I wasn’t there to witness any of that, people tend to like their privacy for that kind of stuff. Go figure. Ok, don’t leave me yet, I managed to get a story, I swear!

There was a fifth blog character I wasn’t counting on, Cute Guy; he asked me to join him for a smoke, which is funny since I don’t smoke (…funny may not be the word) but, since the sangria effect was already vanishing and people were starting to be boring again, I figured there wouldn’t be much more different to have an uncomfortable conversation in or outside the bar. He’s, also, a friend, kinda… More of an acquaintance; we have shared a some  nice cordial conversations, and so we were, back there…  Until he decided to throw his cigarette away in a very dramatic way and pull me towards him. I’m giving you the chance to recreate the scene by handing you the script:

Girl
Ok, you don’t have the balls to be a bitch… Act cool!
(smiles)
No. I’m sorry, no.

Boy
(smiles back)
No?

Girl
Oh perfect, this guy thinks I’m playing hard to get. You try to be nice…
NO. Really, no.
(backs off after he still tries too give it a try)
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gone out, I didn’t know you were going after this.

Boy
No. I wasn’t going after this, I just wanted to catch up with you… But why not?

Girl
Oh dear… I can’t believe I’m actually going to pull this one…
There’s someone else.

Boy
Is he here?

Girl
Uhm… Sure.
He means “here” in Europe, right?

Boy
Ok… Just one kiss

Girl
Great argument
NO! I’m really sorry, but I’m serious.

Boy
Well, then, just come here

Girl
(Doesn’t “come there”)

Boy
I’m not going to try to kiss you, I swear!
I’m sorry for putting you in an uncomfortable situation.

Girl
Don’t worry, it’s ok…
I should have known “join me for a cigarette” was code for “let’s make out in the parking lot”.

 

I’m really sorry for the kid, but I’m glad I have a story to tell.

7 comments:

  1. Jeez - a pretty girl who won't kiss .. or show her lovely boobies .. where's the fun in that? Better to go to the aquarium & watch the penguins get gay with each other - at least they seem happy & joyous.

    In 30 years you'll be in the supermarket line & nobody will be noticing you at all & you'll think back to this moment & ponder .. maybe you should have at least kissed that guy, if only to make his day. Be a giver.

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  2. There’s no use in me denying that, in 30 years, when I don’t have my pretty perky breasts and own a flaccid stomach… Yep, I will regret don’t taking enough advantage of my young body. However, I hope I will only regret the stuff I was too afraid of doing, not also the stuff I had no desire of doing at all.
    I would ponder more on this issue if I didn’t have a date to show my boobies to a sexy British gentleman…

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  3. Sucks to be him.

    Freaking amazing to be me.

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  4. sup!
    u know what? u should make comics for conversations like that. similar to ur prev post ... and make a separate comics-blog ...

    and last one: keep vlogging please

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  5. @ <3. And I did show you my boobies last night :D

    @Dennis. I never really vlog, did I? I just stood in front of a camera and looked awkward.

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  6. @Lola
    This is exactly what I was talking about. Keep vloging ;)

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  7. Is it not vlogging videos? I think I never vlogged. I just stood in front of a camera looking stupid :D

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