Sunday, December 18, 2011

Fifty Million Dead Cigars; Part 1

Do you know that awkward moment when you picture your life with free time to smell the roses and shit, but then you remember you’re studying architecture so you have exams and projects keeping you from doing it?
I know you would.
To hell with it. I have a final on a couple of days but I wouldn’t be a proper college student if I wasn’t an expert on procrastination… Besides, it’s Materials of Construction, and I, seriously, would rather watch the paint dry than study its chemical components.

This are just half of the questions I received; I’ll answer the other half after my exam (yeah, I can’t be that big of a rebel, I still want to graduate). I decided to classify them into different subjects because of reasons.

Sexy Ones

How many different dicks have you ever had in your hands, in your mouth, in your pussy and in your ass?
I’ll give you an answer you won’t like: if you read my blog from front to back you can count them… And then add two more I’ve never mentioned.

Ever tried rimming?
Here’s something I learned from Sex and the City: I won’t let a guy lick my asshole since I don’t feel like doing that for him… It wouldn’t be fair.

do you practice cybersex? how many guys have seen you fapping on webcam?
You guys like magic number, huh? I did it several times, mostly out of curiosity… But I ended up dropping it because I didn’t get anything other than temporal adrenaline rush and realized you can’t trust most guys with that kind of stuff.
I am, however, doing it again… And it’s amazing <3 people don’t realize it takes certain maturity and skills to cybersex properly.

Dominant or submissive?
I love this question… I could write an entire entry on this.
I call British Man ‘Sir’ … And he calls me ‘his good little Fucktoy’ <3

Innie or outtie?
Innie and damn proud.

have you ever been groped in a crowded place?
No… But I should add that I avoid crowded places; people scare me.

te ha caido semen en los ojos? se te pusieron rojos? alguien lo noto? Have you ever gotten cum in your eyes? Were they read? Did somebody notice?
Yes.. Hurt like a bitch. I didn’t even care they were red or if it stung; I could just think of how much it hurt every time I blinked.
My mom noticed, if I remember correctly… Of course, she didn’t jump into the conclusion that her sweet daughter had just given a blowjob.  

My Irrelevant Life

... So I didn't realize that was a link until ... well, now. I thought British Man was from another forum you used to frequent and that you only had an online relationship. Are you saying y'all actually have a real relationship? *headasplode*
I’ll try making this story as short as possible: We started mailing each other irrelevant/stupid stuff which somehow turn into a “so… how’s your day?”. Then there were the midnight chats, which turn into videochats. I was planning a trip to London with my friends, I told him about it and we agreed to meet. He came to my rescue when I was lost at the Liverpool Station and a couple hours later he was fucking my brains out.
… That wasn’t even your question, right?

How's school going? Been a while since you said anything about it.
Well… I just said something about it.

Favorite movie?
There are a bunch of movies I’ve loved… However, I have to pick Titanic just because it’s been around 10 years since I watched it for the first time, and still gets to me every time; if it’s not the “You Jump, I Jump”, it’s the “I’d rather be his whore than your wife”, or the band that sinks with the ship, or the old couple lying in bed…  I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS, OK!?

Favorite book?
There isn’t one, either… Harry Potter grew with me; Sophie Kinsella makes me laugh; Animal Farm made history more fun than any of my teachers; I’m using Caulfield for my blog entries… I could keep going but the story doesn’t get more interesting.

What do you want for Christmas?
You. That’s all.

British, Australian, or Scottish accent?
London accent with a hint of American <3

Chili with Rice Blog...
a)a good blog
b)the best blog

None of the above; a pretty mediocre one. I don’t know why are you guys even reading… But for that, I thank you.

Philosophy and Stuff

so now u have a chance to change anything from the past ...
what will u change?

Have you seen that episode of The Simpsons when they reference the “Butterfly Effect” making Homer time travel and every time he made a silly little change it had huge repercussions?
Well, that’s basically it. I’m not proud of every decision I made, but, still, I wouldn’t change anything; I don’t want to mess with my present.

Who's on first?
This question had to be explained to me, but I figured it wouldn’t be “honest” to come up with a comeback after I did some research… So I’m going to go with my original answer: …huh?

So I've heard that it damages a girls well-being to be very sexually active with someone who they aren't (or won't be in the future) emotionally involved with. But your self-esteem seems just fine and you say you have lots of sex. What's right?
In a tragic way, I’m kind of proud of the reputation I have going on… However, in the name of honesty, I haven’t earn it. I’ve fooled around with guys, but the number reduces a freaking lot if you just count the ones I’ve had intercourse with… It’s even more pathetic if I mention that the number includes a guy I had a relationship with for 3 and a half years, and another dude I’m still involved with.
But don’t give up hope; there are “slutty” girls with wonderful self-image.

Can you write smart things again once you get past the "new BF oh god I'm-acting like I'm 15" phase? Thanks.
Honey… You have the wrong blog. I never wrote smart things :/

Stealing my Spotlight

Were these question enjoyable to read/ answer?
You were the one who asked me about the dominant or submissive. So, hell yeah.

On a scale of 1 - 10 how would you rate my question writing skills?
8 (so it keeps you motivated to try harder next time)

If I were to write you further questions how could they be improved?
In this case, sex is the answer.

Misconception of What a Question is

I don't have a question, but I wanted to thank you for introducing me to Tubegalore... it has revolutionized my masturbation. :-D
Now I’m curious on what kind of porn watcher you are… The traditional home made videos kind, or do you go for the 9 month pregnancy porn?
Whatever it is… Masturbate away, sweetie! <3

thanks a lot for posting your last entry, your lola dahl was scaring me now, yes, even though she is absurdly awesome and i so hopelessly wish she existed, it is so good to know you are not her.
And yes, whoever you are,lady,you are amazing.
You want her to exist but you’re glad she doesn’t? What an adorable little paradox you are <3
Thank you for the compliment.

You can still ask me questions on this link!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

People Always Think Something’s All True

Dear anonymous dude/dudette person:

You asked me if the British Man was more than a good fuck; if there was more to him other than his cock. Let me tell you I felt so tempted to answer with a “duh! He’s a great fuck” followed by a list which included his tongue and fingers… It just didn’t feel right. I, then, tried to keep my honest answer in a short format, but I rambled way too much (“really?” you ask in disbelief. “Swear to god” I answer back, “I even made a blog so I could ramble all I wanted.”) There was just so much I felt like clarifying, I decided to write a whole entry about it!! (Insert here a colon and a closed parenthesis)

Before we get to the main point, there are two things I need to state for the record. The first one is to ask all of my readers to never take anything that’s written in here way too seriously. Second is to inform you, all, that Lola Dahl, amongst the other characters I write about, do not exist… They are, simply, caricatures of real people.

For people who find Lola way too annoying and vulgar, at times, will be -I think- more pleased with my real, more reserved and shy self. Guys who have fallen in love with her oversexed personality would run away fast after noticing my extra set of hormones involve, also, a bunch of “let’s talk about our feelings for 2 hours while I cry… Why? Because I can, that’s why!”

The people I talk about go through the same process of censorship. The girl behind Muffin is not someone I constantly try to get off my back; the guy behind The Roommate is not a flawless Greek god; the guy behind Dude… Well… I’m sure there’s something more to him than being a really weird-but-not-in-the-cool-way person, I’ll leave it up to somebody else to find out…That’s not the point.

My blog goes through a whole deal of editing. I don’t talk about the bad, but I, also, don’t talk about the oh!-so good. Let’s put it this way: Lola Dahl is a mere outlet for me to exaggerate the irrelevant feelings I get on an also irrelevant day-to-day basis… Why? Because I can, that’s why.

Now, you see what I meant about not being able to keep my answer in a short format, huh? And I haven’t even started talking about the British Man.

The guy who inspired the British Man character is still a good fuck, yeah; he made me realize I’m even a bigger sex freak than I thought I was, but, even then… The things I like the most about him have nothing to do with sex. (Insert here a minus than and the number three).

If I had to keep my description about him short (which I do, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I will!) he’s endlessly fascinating, witty and charming. You’d rather read a blog written by him, I swear… And, on top of all, a genuinely nice person. Give the guy some credit, he constantly has to endure hours of me crying for no real reason, and he does it like a champ. I like him… A hell of a lot. I really am sorry if it’s annoying, but not matter how hard I try, my blog will reflect the simple happiness I’m going through. Admit that it’s a little bit less annoying if I show that happiness divagating about his big cock and how well he can use it, than if I do it talking about his gorgeous smile.

The girl who invented Lola Dahl

P.S. You can submit questions here and I promise you I will let Lola answer those. She’s so much better than me with this kind of stuff.