Sunday, December 4, 2011

People Always Think Something’s All True

Dear anonymous dude/dudette person:

You asked me if the British Man was more than a good fuck; if there was more to him other than his cock. Let me tell you I felt so tempted to answer with a “duh! He’s a great fuck” followed by a list which included his tongue and fingers… It just didn’t feel right. I, then, tried to keep my honest answer in a short format, but I rambled way too much (“really?” you ask in disbelief. “Swear to god” I answer back, “I even made a blog so I could ramble all I wanted.”) There was just so much I felt like clarifying, I decided to write a whole entry about it!! (Insert here a colon and a closed parenthesis)

Before we get to the main point, there are two things I need to state for the record. The first one is to ask all of my readers to never take anything that’s written in here way too seriously. Second is to inform you, all, that Lola Dahl, amongst the other characters I write about, do not exist… They are, simply, caricatures of real people.

For people who find Lola way too annoying and vulgar, at times, will be -I think- more pleased with my real, more reserved and shy self. Guys who have fallen in love with her oversexed personality would run away fast after noticing my extra set of hormones involve, also, a bunch of “let’s talk about our feelings for 2 hours while I cry… Why? Because I can, that’s why!”

The people I talk about go through the same process of censorship. The girl behind Muffin is not someone I constantly try to get off my back; the guy behind The Roommate is not a flawless Greek god; the guy behind Dude… Well… I’m sure there’s something more to him than being a really weird-but-not-in-the-cool-way person, I’ll leave it up to somebody else to find out…That’s not the point.

My blog goes through a whole deal of editing. I don’t talk about the bad, but I, also, don’t talk about the oh!-so good. Let’s put it this way: Lola Dahl is a mere outlet for me to exaggerate the irrelevant feelings I get on an also irrelevant day-to-day basis… Why? Because I can, that’s why.

Now, you see what I meant about not being able to keep my answer in a short format, huh? And I haven’t even started talking about the British Man.

The guy who inspired the British Man character is still a good fuck, yeah; he made me realize I’m even a bigger sex freak than I thought I was, but, even then… The things I like the most about him have nothing to do with sex. (Insert here a minus than and the number three).

If I had to keep my description about him short (which I do, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I will!) he’s endlessly fascinating, witty and charming. You’d rather read a blog written by him, I swear… And, on top of all, a genuinely nice person. Give the guy some credit, he constantly has to endure hours of me crying for no real reason, and he does it like a champ. I like him… A hell of a lot. I really am sorry if it’s annoying, but not matter how hard I try, my blog will reflect the simple happiness I’m going through. Admit that it’s a little bit less annoying if I show that happiness divagating about his big cock and how well he can use it, than if I do it talking about his gorgeous smile.

Sincerely,
The girl who invented Lola Dahl

P.S. You can submit questions here and I promise you I will let Lola answer those. She’s so much better than me with this kind of stuff.

7 comments:

  1. Isn't British Man from another online forum you used to frequent? Y'all have actually met? I thought y'all only communicated online. I'm confused.

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  2. Lola Dahl/ Tyler Durden:"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not."

    Just thought the quote was relevant to this post.

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  3. Actually, being -sadly- a grown up, the-Girl-behind-Lola's description is more interesting to me than Lola's and BM's youthful and single-minded display of sexual happiness.
    As in the movies, I like blog characters to have some depth, which Lola has in more than BM's preferred way.

    Blunt question, interesting answer.

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  4. @Anon. Question answered, my dear.

    @Jules. Quoting The Fight Club is always relevant.

    @Bob. …But, in a way… Is more fun to be one dimensional.

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  5. It helps cope with the world, when we can catalog people in one-dimensional boxes, until they become part of the narrative and acquire breadth and depth.

    But I prefer ladies to be three-dimensional (as long as they don't occupy more volume than me).

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  6. Wow, this is the cutest post I've read so far from you Isabel (because I can).
    Cheers to you <3

    #randombunny

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    Replies
    1. Isabel?
      Do I look like an Isabel to you!?
      >:[

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