Monday, March 26, 2012

One Thing I Like?

I think I was a bit of a sex freak before I even knew what that meant. I don’t like to think of myself as a screw-up, nor have I had any kind of traumatic childhood experience I can recall; no weird touchy uncle or exhibitionists parents. Nothing.

My earliest memory of this is being around 10 years old, taking a shower and some sort of fortunate accident brought the water faucet to “a pleasant position”. I didn’t think much of it, I wasn’t even that curious about it, the only thing I thought is that it was an interesting sensation and “yay for that!”

As I grew up I learned the connotation behind it and, living in an specially conservative society, I got the feeling that it was wrong and I should probably be ashamed of it. However, I never considered stopping because, have you ever masturbated? It’s freaking awesome! So, maybe, just maybe, that’s when I started developing forced sex fantasies. It wasn’t just incredibly sexy to be desired and used, but it was a guilt-free trip where I could pretend I didn’t want any of that.

I didn’t feel comfortable enough sharing this until I had a boyfriend. I’m going straight to the point: roleplaying is fucking fun. I must have done a bit of growing up between such games that made me more comfortable with my sexuality. I didn’t feel ashamed anymore and I was ready to take it to another level… I just didn’t know that yet. Without being aware of it, my sexy games were lacking something; there’s even this (relatively) funny story when I, in the middle of a consensual rape session, begged my “rapist” to care about me, to be with me. You can image it was a bit of a shock to everyone involved. That was a few years ago.

present day;

British Man and I, as some of you may know already, get our sexual getaways from time to time, but the rest of the year we have to resort to ‘mental sex’. Feel as sorry as you want for me, but you’d be amazed what can be achieved if you don’t get straight to the action. This guy not only knows my general kinks, he also hears about my everyday fantasies. As for me (and he may deny this), I learned he’s the kind of guy who gets his kicks out of protecting and spoiling his little princess… Somehow, we ended up complementing each other.

It’s still rough and there’s still this feeling of pain and pleasure; I just stopped pretending I didn’t want it. I do want him to fuck me, nice and hard… And that’s ok. Not only that, I have to be a good girl to earn that fucking.

It also stopped being a game, it’s not a temporary role that lasts as long as the sexual encounter. He’s my Sir while I’m sucking his cock. He’s my Sir when he’s sending me dirty e-mails ordering me to pinch my nipples in the middle of a lecture. He’s my Sir right now, while I’m typing this and he’s out there doing whatever.

Most importantly, sex stopped being “impersonal and wrong”. Yes, I do all sort of shenanigans but, as a “reward”, I get such cute glances, soft kisses, sweet compliments and, you know… All that romantic shit girls are supposed to cream for, because, really, who am I to think I’m better than that?

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Monday, March 12, 2012

Fifty Million Dead Cigars; Part 3

I know, I know… I should have done this a while ago but admit you weren’t holding on to your chair either.
If you were… Deny it. It would be embarrassing for everyone involved.

Sexy Ones
Time longest sexual encounter lasted?
A 6 day holiday.

Time shortest sexual encounter lasted?
”oh, honey, don’t worry…! It’s such a compliment!”

Favorite place to be touched? Least favorite place to be touched?
It’s not where, it’s how.

A lot of pictures in your tumblr (always tagged britishman) are doggie-style, and quite a few add hair-pulling. How does that feeling compare to your favorite Cunnilingus? (unless that's Lola's favorite, not yours)
This one is really easy. I simply love sex. I really fucking do.
I like it when I’m in all four, on my back, on my knees, standing up… Bring me the right person and I’m sure we can figure out a nice mix of sexy positions.

Are there Spanish boys hitting on you these days?
If I go out clubbing there are always guys who want to get their penis a nice warm home… The rest of the time I just have a group of nerdy guys who laugh at my jokes.

Do you rank men's sperm taste after a BJ? How was one "best", and which was worst?
I have never notice that much of a difference that would have make me, either, throw up or wish there was an ice cream with that flavor.

Name three places where you'd really like to have sex, whether it's actually possible or not.
Fancy dinner party. Trashy house party. Faillingwater house (it’s a really cool house…)

When you orgasm, you...
Arch my back, close my eyes and gasp.
(Unless British Man instructs me to do something else).

do you prefer a dick growing inside your mouth or already hard before starting the bj?
…It really depends! He’s not hard already because it’s an spontaneous blowjob or I have suddenly decided to suck on unwilling penises?

do you notice a big difference about doing with or without a condom?
ihaveneverdoneitwithoutacondom
… Wait, that’s nothing to be ashamed of!

Which tastes better a penis or vagina?
I haven’t taste any other vagina but my own… And it would be weird if I loved myself that much.

Most orgasms during single sex session?
How do you declare a sex session officially over? If I put on my clothes back again and ate fried chicken, does that count as a small break in the middle of one ‘sex session’ or it divides the sex into two different experiences?

You like it best when someone's _______ is rubbing against your vagina
From a scale of 1 to 8.5, how creeped out would you be if I answered this with ‘puppy’?

do you let guys film you during sex?
Depending on the guy, this answer could go from “sure, hon” to “what the fucking fuck is wrong with you?”

My Irrelevant Life
Have you ever worm short hair (not asking for it, I prefer longer)
Yes. It makes me look like a little girl.

Favorite sport?
Typing.
Ugh... And tennis <3

Vacation (money not an object): ski, bungee jump, rafting, museum, cultural faraway place, tropical beach, hiking/biking, sailing. Top two?
I don’t know if this would qualify as a “top” since I have never done it and I could hate it… I have wanted since I was a teenager to go to a secluded cabin (preferably during winter, while it’s all snowy) with a boyfriend and a group of friends… Be stupid together and, at night, have (monogamous) sex with our respective partners (or by themselves, I don’t care, as long as I am the one who gets dick).

You know… The kind of place where everyone is killed, by Nazi Zombies, by the end of the weekend.
In this silly little fantasy of mine, this cabin is very modern and luxurious… And nobody dies. Of course. 

Right handed or left?
RIGHT!

Philosophy and Stuff

You have one wish, What would it be?
Mhm… To have such a satisfying life that when my death comes I don’t feel like I should have done something differently.
Or, you know, to achieve the perfect Brazilian wax.


Stealing my Spotlight
May I buy you a drink? What are you drinking? My place or yours? Did reading these questions turn you on? What are you going to do about it?
No. No. No. No. Tell my mom there’s someone on the internet making me uncomfortable.


What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? (had to)
It depends on whether you’re talking about an African or European swallow. (had to)

Misconception of what a question is
-Finish the sentence a man walks in…
… a very lousy joke?

The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire. Discuss.
False. None of the Above. All of the Above. Yellow. My religion prohibits me from talking about certain issues.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

A Beautiful Reciprocal Arrangement

Dear ‘First Real Crush’,

Thank you for teaching me, at a really young age, how fucking useless is to long for a guy who isn’t interested in me.

Sincerely,
Lola ‘no hard feelings for one of my oldest friends’ Dahl

P.S. I bet you hate I grew up to be such a hottie <3

Dear ‘First Kiss’ Guy,

Since you came along, I never again confused a hot make out with actual care. Thank you for the cynicism.

Sincerely,
Lola ‘my first kiss was quite hardcore’ Dahl

P. S. You had an awful taste in music.

Dear Whatshisname,

Being born as an ‘emotional slut’, I was due to get disappointed constantly… And even though I still get attached easily, the thicker skin you gave me reminds me I’ll always be able to get through guy problems. 

Sincerely,
Lola ‘Reading through my old blog I noticed
my spelling got so much better after him, coincidence?’
Dahl

P. S. Love is, in fact, blind. You were really ugly.

Dear Friend with Benefits n°1,

Thank you for letting me know I’m the kind of idiot who has a hard time differentiating between love and lust.

Sincerely,
Lola ‘it was lust’ Dahl

P.S. You were even uglier than the last one. I had no standards.

Dear Ex,

Sometimes, no matter how much you care about someone, you grow apart from them.  It doesn’t mean that what it was once shared wasn’t special or real, it just means that people change, just as feelings do… And that’s okay.

Sincerely,
Lola ‘this is slowly turning into a Whitney Houston song’ Dahl

P.S. What kind of bitch would I be if I now insulted a guy who put up with me through more than 3 years of constant PMS?

Dear Friend with Benefits n°2,

Some experiences, just for the sake of having them, are not worth it. I’ll never forget that.

Sincerely,
Lola ‘what a fucking jerk he was’ Dahl

P.S. With that ego of yours, one would think you’d have a bigger cock.

Dear Dude,

I’ve been listing past ‘relationships’ that have made a significant impact on my life and that, through time, I grew to appreciate as an experience. You, however, are not one of them. Either way, I decided to send you a letter too because, through the short time we dated, you served me as an excuse to reach out to girls I now consider awesome friends. Thank you for that.

Sincerely,
Lola ‘I’m so glad I didn’t deflowered him’ Dahl

P.S. I have nothing to add for you. We can go back to pretend we don’t know each other.