I interrupt this program to bring you an announcement: My boobies are awesome. Now, before you say anything, hear me out… I have people to back me up, people I didn’t have to sleep with to get the good critique.
Today, as many other days in the past, I felt the need to surprise British Man with a nice dose of boobies. Coincidentally, I found a site to make your own GIFs in a really quick and easy manner. I didn’t have to go through the hazard of making a video, select the frames on Photoshop, and choose between length and quality. I figured, what could go wrong here?
With a question like that, I was really asking for it.
You know this new thing where Facebook connects to every single site you know and asks you if you want to share the porn you’re watching with your friends and family? Ok, that’s not what happened. I was worried about that, so I checked. Double checked. Triple checked. I have my dad on Facebook, I really can’t leave anything to chance here! Nothing. What happens on the GIF site stays on the GIF site.
After a few rehearsals I made the GIF. Black and white; really classy (if you don’t take into account that I was toying around with my boobies). I checked Facebook again. Nothing. I sent the GIF to British Man, as a thank you for being such a good Sir to me; feeling just the right amount of slutty, I went downstairs for a cup of coffee.
A couple minutes later I came back. Checked Facebook again. Nothing. Awesome. The GIF site was still open and before I clicked to close the tab I notice something weird. “8 new comments” … That can’t be.
8 new comments.
12 new followers.
10 new private messages.
What? No. I joined in 5 seconds ago. Those can’t be for me.
“u have awesome boobies” “thats such a turn on” “your really hott” “can u send me a private video?” “mmmmMMmmmm!”
So that’s the story, kids. That’s how I learned my boobies get me attention. Fast. No. I won’t send you proof. You will just have to believe me on this.
Thank you for your attention. Next time we will be back to our regular programming where I’ll talk about punishments; a lovely suggestion from an anonymous reader <3