Thursday, July 5, 2012

Dixieland and Whorehouse

Don’t you think I haven’t notice that, with all of these sexy entries (fictitious or not) I’ve left out to update you on my normal and monotonous life. Next semester I won’t be coming back to the dorms I currently live in (I still don’t know know how nuns could let such a cock-sucking atheist join, in the first place). I'm moving to my very own apartment (and by that I mean an apartment my parents are paying) which I’ll be sharing with 2 other friends: Muffin and a girl we will be calling Barbie (because she’s tall, blonde and perfect).

In the first instance, we will be welcoming anyone who’s not a thief, rapist, murderer or Jehovah’s Witness (unless you agree to keep your dirty laundry at home and are great at compliments) but here are some points to consider:

  1. We reserve the right to refuse admission.
  2. Welcome gifts are accepted.
    Here are some of ideas: cake, wine vodka, a house cleaner, sex toys*, a book shelf, free Wi-Fi, etc. 
  3.  If you were looking to have sex in our premises, let me bring down that fantasy for you: we are three (3) very much taken girls by, as far as I know, three (3) guys who are filling their role (pun very intended) satisfactorily.
  4. Woman in the apartment below: No, we are not the ones playing reggaeton, we are too busy having taste.
  5. Woman in the apartment below, again: Yes, that moaning does come from here… My friend gets really excited with her Physics homework. I’ll tell them her to keep it down.
  6. Telemarketing salesman: I’m sorry… I’m 17 years-old, no, there’s no adult available. Yeah. I’m sorry.